Off The Hoox

I’m in serious mixed minds about this whole blogging thing. Is it worth it? I’ve toyed with the idea a bit but can’t make up my mind. As you can see its been a while since anything meaningful. I just don’t think I could be assed.

So… You tell me. Do I or don’t I?

Like the weeks here aren’t hectic enough. I was really hoping for just a nice chilled weekend out for a braai (bbq) on a nice beach with some good mates and a couple of ice cold beers. Sounds bloody lovely right? If this is how you would like to spend a Sunday then don’t go and eat a dodgy piece of fish at the Dodgy Kastel on Saturday night.

Ok so I must admit it did look a little under done and I suppose I was a bit foolish to keep trying to get through it. But it did taste good and didn’t have a fishy smell at all so I figured it must be ok. This logic came to pieces with my guts at about 4am this morning.

And that is the end of my weekend. No beach. No braai. No beer. No mates. AND I’m stuck in a room with no damn TV (as mentioned before), no damned water (this is a new curve ball as of this weekend) and no damned internet (its more up and down than a $2 hooker). This will post when some idiot downstairs realises there could be an issue! Happy Wednesday probably! Mr Le “5 Star” manager…. WANKER!

Welcome (back) to Africa!

Dear manager of Le “5 Star” hotel in Zeroville.

It seems you have forgotten to pay your satellite subscription again for 95% of your channels. Wanker! All you leave us with is some dodgy 1960 American movie dubbed into le French! Wanker!

Do you seriously think the guests of your almost 600 rooms appreciate messages on their TV screens saying, “You are not subscribed to this channel”, “Your subscription has expired” and endless channels of static? The last time I turned on my TV which was about 4 weeks ago I was well impressed with you. I took you for a legend. At least then amongst the 15 unsubscribed channels and the 20 channels of pure static I found at least one English movie channel and one South African sports channel. What more does a bloke need right? And now you have taken that all away!

Sort your shit out. Pretty pretty please!

Thanks! A hell of a lot!

Sincerely (pissed),

Hoox!

Oi. Get your filthy mind out of my gutter!

Dirty Sex is just another birthday celebrated in the lengthy stretch of Dirties. I guess you had to have been here to appreciate it. I will explain, very briefly.

31 – Dirty Fun
32 – Dirty Toon
33 – Dirty Tree
34 – Dirty Paw
35 – Dirty Pies
36 – Yeah, you get it! Maybe a little much?

Ok, how about I make it Dirty Sax? Better? Ok then. Happy Birthday me. Dirty Sax

(Click for more – Warning : NSFW)

Read the rest of this entry »

Talk about a welcome home. It was awesome. When I got to the hotel last night everyone was in reception to welcome me back to Zeroville. Either that or everyone was heading out for dinner just then. I like to think it was the first one.

Now that Im back I realise how much shite has gone on in my absence. Its like a different world here. I was only gone for 4 days really. I cant imagine what it would have been like had I been gone longer. Lets see how long I last here in this new little environment.

Happy days!

It has been an awesome week “off”. Loads of different shit going on. Some work. Some play. All good!

Now I sit back at the airport waiting to head on over into deepest darkest Africa and it’s good cos I’m still looking forward to it and enjoying it. I must admit I’m a bit bleak leaving South Africa again now and so soon after getting back but I only have to remind myself that this was an unexpected break and I really shouldn’t have been here at all. I smile!

I damn near didn’t make it back to Zeroville today. As of close of business yesterday I was still missing one essential piece of paperwork (a letter of invitation from the government) in order to get my working visa. The last communication yesterday was from HR asking me to delay my return. I decided to take a chance and suggested that I at least get the domestic leg out of the way in the hopes that paperwork could be sorted this morning. A call at 1am confirmed my decision was right. The paperwork was delivered to the office in Zeroville at 11pm last night. A very odd hour for government ministers to be signing documents. They must know I need to get back there urgently.

The weeks to come are going to be very exciting and mostly challenging. I just hope that certain assholes don’t put too many spanners in the works just to slow things up like they seem to be doing already. One day at a time. We see what we can do! I should write a book called: “How to do what you want while making your asshole boss think it was his idea”.

Damn this Cappuccino is good. Worth missing a flight over for another? Hmmmm. Tempting! There are worse places than Johannesburg to be stuck for a weekend on the company’s account!

My bejeebers! I cannot believe that 30 days has passed so quickly. It feels like only yesterday I was jetting out here at a moment’s notice. But then looking back on how much has been successfully achieved I come to realise that I have been more productive in the last 4 weeks than I have in the last 2 years. That wasn’t that difficult though!

So here I am in the departure lounge of yet another strange place but this time I’m loving it. And even more so I’m loving that I’m coming back! Its just a few days back in the Sleepy Hollow before I turn around and head back to deepest darkest Africa. I would be a liar if I said that I don’t get that small bum puckering sensation when I think about all the work ahead over the next handful of months. It’s gonna kick ass and I’m gonna be right there in the thick of it. For good or bad, I’m going to be at the sharp end of the stick and will have a lot to answer for if it all goes tits up! Nervous? Yes! Excited? Yes! Just bring it!