Well I’ll be damned! I went to Woolworths the other day to pick up some great healthy fruit and veg. Yeah yeah I’m trying ok! And look what I found! Can you believe the size of these strawberries. I swear they are just like small apples!
And the Yanks think they have it bigger and better! These guys ROCK! Home gown South African fruit. Best in the world!
Today started just like any other day. Not a lot of plans with the exception of a bit of Playstation 3 and job hunting. I was successfully sticking to those plans when my phone rang. I didn’t get to the phone fast enough and it was a number I didn’t recognise so I just left it. 10 minutes later my mate Mullac called me. He had fantastic news. The call that I had missed was the Uitenhage traffic department to advise my ordeal with my driver’s license has been sorted 3 months faster than predicted. I had fortunately listed Mullac as a secondary contact in case I had already left the country.
Now I am awake and I am ready to get cracking. I was in the car in a flash and on my way to Uitenhage. All the way there I was thinking how wrong I was about this country and it’s abilities (lack of) to run a streamlined government and it’s associated services. Today I was impressed. Sadly though, my original impressions were more accurate. After standing in the queue for about 45 minutes I was issued the temporary license which is to be used while the new card license gets issued. That’s when I noticed it.
That temp license only has my new motorcycle license on it and was sorely lacking any indication of my light vehicle driver’s license. My heart started pumping when I enquired about this obvious mistake. That’s when she said, “Oh I think you misunderstood what the process is. When we sent your license details to Bisho to get sorted out, what they do is delete or cancel your license from your ID book, not give you a new one”. When I asked why, I was told because I never got it converted before so it just had to be removed from my ID book. Even after explaining AGAIN that I was overseas in 2003 when this stupid government came up with this ridiculous new 5 year money making renewal scheme system she simply said that there was nothing she could do there.
I asked with much dread in my gut what the next step was. She said, “Oh you will just have to rewrite your learners test and redo your entire K53 driving test.”
Please try to imagine how must constraint I had to exercise to remain calm and not hop on my imaginary soap box and scream at the top of my lungs exactly what I think of those people and their entire system of useless, fat, greedy bastard idiots in this useless Banana Republic that’s fast being “driven” down the toilet!
Thank God I still have my British diver’s license so I don’t need to put up with this crap. It can flush all on it’s own!
In what world is the backbone of any country’s defence allowed to strike? Oh, in this world it seems. In the crazy world of South Africa. Here we have our military in illegal protest that turned into a riot. Fantastic. What is happening to this country? It seems everyone can have a strike. Doctors, Metro Police, World Cup construction workers etc etc and now the military. The useless bastards of today’s military have demands of a 30% pay increase and suddenly it turns into a petrol bomb and rubber bullet party after destroying government property. What do they even do for their salaries?
In many countries, action like attempting to invade the seat of government is usually considered an uprising or coup and likely to to be declared mutiny or treason and punishable by death. Our police just get reprimanded for excessive force
Just to add salt to the wound, you get some prick Shaheed Mahomed of the Workers International Vanguard League saying ridiculous statements like “Soldiers should have the full right to protest as well as the right to strike”. But then again, this brain box also feels that “We fully support the right of soldiers to elect their leaders in the army and that their leaders should be subject to instant recall.” Soldiers electing the generals? This isn’t the fucking boy scouts! Oh hang on, perhaps it is!
One step closer to the Banana Republic! Whatever!
I was shitting myself last night. Not for the test today but more for the weather. It wasn’t looking good at all. Any rain and they cancel the test and postpone. I really didn’t want to have the test postponed. It became frontal last night which to the lay man simply means the wind blows like a son of a bitch from the west and that drags in all the crap wet weather from Cape Town. Fortunately this morning it was holding out sufficiently.
I rushed off to the testing station for an 11:30am booking while staring at the sky and hoping like mad. The test itself was very uneventful. The rain held out and I completed my test. It went really well. I guess that comes with good preparation. I passed with flying colours
And then the shit storm began. The government kicked in and that’s when the happiness ended. There’s a problem with my driver’s license apparently. Supposedly in 2003 while I was out of the country I was supposed to convert my old ID book style driver’s license to an ID card license. Since I did not do the conversion there is now a block on the license. Now that I have passed my bike license they need to issue a card license with both licenses on it. Simple? NO! This is Africa. First they have to remove the license from my ID book before they can issue the card. Simple? NO! They are useless! Apparently it can take up to 4 months to sort this out in a distant town called Bisho which looks after the entire region. Only once this is done can I go in to sort out and pay for my new license. But I am going to be away by then so I have to make another plan for issue and collection. Just a real pain in the ass. I can only hope it will be sorted without too many problems.
Africa!
Yesterday was my first time back on a bike properly (and legally) in about 15 years I guess and it was great fun! But now I have to do things the right way. Riding bikes in this country is actually a crazy thing. Bikes kill you quicker than cars but yet all you need is a little piece of paper being your learners license at the age of 16 and that allows you onto a bike capable of going 150kph on the highway (up to 125cc). So that’s how I learned way back when but then the limit was 50cc and we were not allowed on the highway.
Now I want to get my full (unrestricted) bike license so I have to go through the entire process again. About a month ago I got my learners license. And this week I have my bike test which is pretty simple I must admit. I hope I didn’t just jinx it!
I got on the bike and I was feeling a little apprehensive since it had been quite a while. I wanted to go for a quick ride around first just to get used to it again and it was great fun. Pulled off like a champ and was flying around the parking lot in no time. When I got back the instructor said that I was lying and that I had definitely ridden recently. That made me feel good. I guess it is like riding a bicycle!
A few more lessons and then my test. I am a bit nervous but it’s also like an adventure which makes it worthwhile. I don’t know if I even want a bike but I want the license just in case. Leave my options open. It’s very difficult to get it anywhere else and the South African license is internationally recognised so I can get it switched for a UK license.
We are now into the first week of August which is obviously still slap bang in the middle of the South African winter. And how we are suffering. Check out the week ahead’s forecast. Oh woe is us! It’s braai (bbq) and sunshine weekend all round!
Just a pity about Tuesday and Wednesday when it turns into a “miserable” partly cloudy and 21 Deg and 18 Deg respectively.
Even when travelling around your own country it is advisable at times to get yourself a great guide book to ensure you don’t miss out on anything that may interest you along the way. The only problem is when these guides get it wrong. What’s odd with this statement: “Above: Sunset on Durban beach”? Found in the AA Spiral Guide of South Africa.
If you can’t guess or are not from South Africa so have little idea where Durban is, I will give it to you. Durban is on the east coast of South Africa. The sun (even in Africa as backward as it is) still rises in the east. Therefore, there is NO SUCH THING as a sunset on a Durban beach. If you are lucky and crazy enough to wake up that early then you may just be in time to catch a “Sunrise on Durban Beach”
Bunch of CHUMPS!
Haha. Ok no really. L for Learner Driver! Remember those days? God, mine were so long ago for which I am truly grateful. The last thing I would want to have to do these days is go through that damn K53 drivers test again. It’s hard enough being a spectator watching someone else go through it.
When looking to courier important documents or require a speedy, safe and secure method of postage, one usually immediately thinks of DHL or UPS couriers. Personally I have always been fond of DHL as they are a household brand, but even though UPS is right up there, I just haven’t really given them a chance up until now. KP bless her soul didn’t want to use UPS because it sounds like OOPS and she felt that was not a good sign!
UPS however, will from now on get my business wherever they are available when I require urgent secure mail. This is why:
When KP travelled here she needed to send her passport to Italy to get a visa at the South African Embassy. Immediately and without question, we thought DHL. They are the best. The passport got there just fine, but this is the return journey:
Read from bottom to top:-
SINGAPORE?? What the fuck? Bearing in mind that you can almost see the shores of Italy from certain parts of Albania, why did it travel to the Far East and take 5 days for an overnight courier. And then via Bulgaria and Greece? This meant that she very nearly almost missed her flight to South Africa. Needless to say I was pissed however I was grateful that it all worked out for the best and she had her passport and she was on the plane. Great. No harm no foul.
Last week I decided to get all my mail shipped in from London so I called my mail handling people at the service that I use (MBE) and asked them to set it up. They asked DHL or UPS? Again, I just said DHL as they were £5.00 cheaper. All set, lets go…
First of all I get sent 2 delivery notifications via email with 2 separate AWB (Airway Bill) numbers and when tracking them I saw one just got forgotten and left behind so I figured sensibly that there was only one package (hopefully), not that I got any notification that this was the case. I then checked regularly to plot it’s progress. I was a bit nervous as it had 2 credit cards and a debit card inside. It did ok considering public holidays etc until suddenly it went on hold at 08:29 yesterday morning:
I waited and waited but the status never changed so I called DHL’s main number and got through to someone in Johannesburg. They said the package is on hold because they have “lost the paperwork, there is no AWB attached”. For fuck sake. They are the document couriers of choice and they lose their own paperwork? So I tried to call Port Elizabeth to work things out but got no answer. Now I was pissed, so I got in the car and drove down there and had to sort this out face to face armed with the Wrath and Fury of Hoox. After 20 minutes they released it to me. I asked them what would have happened if I hadn’t been aware of this parcel or hadn’t been tracking it so closely and she said, “Well you probably wouldn’t have got it until you eventually called!” Well that’s enough! 2 out of 2 in 2 months? Now I see they put on the tracking information that it was there “Awaiting collection by recipient as requested” which is bullshit. I collected it only because they were not releasing it otherwise and it was not a request, it was a demand!
UPS, you are my new baby! Don’t let me down as I will be comparing you very closely!
I hate the dentist. I hate the dentist. I hate the dentist!
At the cricket some weeks ago I chipped a tooth or rather I should say a side piece of a tooth came off next to a filling. I cringed. I knew it was going to hurt and I was right. Then the bigger fear set in. I hate the dentist!
So in my wisdom I thought if I just left it long enough the pain would go away. Believe it or not the theory actually worked. Eventually! But I had to think that I will one day soon be travelling to crazy paces again and I really don’t want to have to attempt a dentist in these places again. Also KP threatened me with my life if I never went!
So eventually I agreed. And I went last week. Now the dentist thinks I’m crazy. See why!
KP, the adrenalin junkie majmun from Alibanya came along!
Turns out it was 100% pain free. This was the best dentist I have ever been to in my life! I am going back next week to quickly fix one filling and have a good clean and I’m done. How’s THAT? Brilliant!
