I left it a little while to talk about my return to Albania, the project and this site. I didn’t want first impressions to be the deciding emotion. So now that I have been here for a few days lying awake for an hour and contemplating stuff, what have I come up with? Nothing. I actually feel no emotion about being back here.
I know I posted yesterday the pic of me and “My Anger Management Class Pisses Me Off” but that is how I felt at that moment of the day. And it was a photo that was taken on the weekend of a shirt that I bought in Las Vegas. So is that how I feel about being back? No. If I’m honest with myself I will have to admit that it isn’t.
So what is it that I feel?
Nothing really.
I was hoping to see some significant changes in and around the camp and project and people but no. Nothing has changed. The food is the same. Not really good, not really bad. The accommodation is the same. The aircons have been installed (just in the nick of time since winter is upon us and it’s piss cold already up here in the mountains) but they haven’t been wired in yet so we can’t even use the heating function on them yet. Mentality is still the same. People are just as indifferent as when I left. We are still having the same issues with transport due to a lack of vehicles, or should I say, a lack of properly distributed vehicles. The list can go on for pages but what good would that do?
What was I expecting? A miracle? I was only gone for 3 weeks. What could have possibly changed? And let me assure you, I wasn’t by any sliver of imagination thinking that all the problems would have been solved but I was hoping that there was at least one thing had improved. I wouldn’t have even minded what that one thing was. Anything! Just something that I would have been able to say, “Well you know at least {insert anything good here} is for the better now.
This is starting to sound negative which I don’t intend. I don’t think it should be negative. I am just seeing it as a lack of positive! Fear not though, I am trying to convince myself not to slip into that mentality. I will keep looking for the positive and then focus on that. I think that’s up to me now. I will have to create that positive. The only thing you have control over in this world is your attitude. Hoox, remember that!
I have to be grateful for my mates here. It was good to see them all again. There are some amazing people, locals and expats alike. No matter where you are and how crappy things get, as long as you are with like-minded people that you can call friends it makes it SO much easier! We also have to be grateful for the SA vs Fiji game! There’s another positive. Only just huh? Cutting it a little fine at one stage (20-20)??.We found a pub in Tirana that can screen the RWC so even though the commentary is in French, we still get to catch the action! So that’s where we will be on Saturday and Sunday 9pm local. COME ON BOKKE! Hang on. I might have spoken about that pub before. The Irish Bar! 8)
Sidenote: I’m all for Australia being hoofed out of the World Cup (only from fierce competition being a Saffer but please you Poms, can you please just shut up about it now. Oh and Australia, please don’t sulk for too long. We couldn’t find an Australian online headline yesterday even acknowledging their defeat. Very quick to gloat though aren’t we boys?
It’s almost the start to another day full of potential and opportunity. One step at a time.
I tip my hat to all of you that have lives back in the real world. Someday I will overcome my fear of being rehabilitated into society and take the plunge, or perhaps I should be saying, that leap of Faith! But that’s a completely different story!
Any good IT jobs going in South Africa? Didn’t think so but no harm in putting it out there hey?
