Monthly Archives: July 2010

I am so damn sick and tired of dealing with employment agents. If I had my way they would all instantly spontaneously combust on my command. They are friendlier than a hooker on a Friday night on a busy street corner if they think they can get a buck out of you. All the promises and long stories. “Me I love you loooonnng time”. Then a couple of days later when they don’t write and don’t call you realise you have been left standing with your dick in your hand!

The latest “Hoox with his dick in his hand” story is pretty classic. I had a long, very promising call from the agent telling me I’m perfect for the position (in Indonesia) and he has such a fantastic relationship and great communication with the client. After nearly a week of no replies to emails etc I end up calling him and he says, “Oh yeah, ummmmm, they told me last week that they are actually looking for a local Indonesian hire”. That’s a MASSIVE difference and something that he could have, in fact SHOULD have, checked up on with the client before wasting my time and his.

Wankers!!! And to quote an old fellow blogger, GO DIE IN A FIRE!

It’s not all sour news though. My good mate Willie G successfully got a contract on the very same project by sheer coincidence. Well done WG! At least you can keep your pecker up and not in your hand! Bon voyage and happy mobbing!

Let’s be honest. Life could be worse!

Dear Inconsiderate Neighbour

You are an asshole! You might still be a stupid rebellious teenager in that little head of yours but sometime you are going to have to learn life lessons and adapt to society and drop your pubescent ways! Just because you are not living with mommy and daddy anymore doesn’t give you the right to act like the carefree swinging dick with no taste in music.

One way you can start this process is by quitting paying your stupid oonz oonz house music at 3am. Or if you feel you need to listen to it at deafening decibels then wear headphones and party like no one else is listening!

My next little letter will be addresses, “Dear Mr Policeman”. I’m sure that will also fall on deaf, useless, incompetant and lazy ears but I will still give it a shot!

Remember, while you are still living in my hood, you will live by my rules!

Sincerely

Pissed Off

Spin a globe … and nail it with a dart. That’s where I want to be. Yeah, anywhere is good!

So I have had a few hits for work back around the world recently and I’m feeling pleasantly positive about this upturn in possibilities. It’s been a long and frustrating time waiting, wanting and rejection. It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day. And I’m feeling fine!

Opportunities are abundant now. Asia, Africa, Europe. Good hard work and good hard cash. And as the Yanks say, “Now that’s what I’M talking about!”

These people do my head in. I mean really! What qualifications do you need in order to be a good recruitment agent these days?

A typical application situation:

Hi Hoox,
We have reviewed your CV and think you could be a perfect candidate for position X. Please review the job description and skills and tell me if you feel you are suitable.

Job description:

Skill A
Skill B
Skill C
Experience ABC

My CV:

Skill X
Skill Y
Skill Z
Experience XYZ

It’s not even close! Not even in the same job discipline! How can an IT Manger be confused with a Deep Sea Pressure Pump Engineer? If agents quit wasting their time on bullshit, they would have more productive time to spare looking for a realistic position for me!

Assholes!

It’s 9pm (time correct at time of writing), I’m lying in bed and trying to fall asleep. It’s mental. Another very early start and long day on the road tomorrow.

The Majmun and I drove from Port Elizabeth to Durban last week to see Tango (my brother), the old ducks and the Virginia airshow. But that’s all done and dusted now and it’s time to head back to the quiet and serenity of my house in Port Elizabeth.

It’s 9:15 and I’m still trying to get to sleep. I guess writing a blog post on my iPhone isn’t helping.

The alarm is set for 1:30am for a 2am departure so I better try harder now. What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?

Along with the push from the 2012 London Olympic organisers to ban the vuvuzela from the games, it has been announced that the 127db hearing threat trumpet has been banned from the Rugby World Cup next year in New Zealand. In recent news it was also advised that soon the vuvuzela will also be banned for good from all New Zealand grounds.

I really hope and pray that this trend continues to sweep the planet!

So I have this timeshare right. Some swish accommodation in Thailand that I’m not using. So I thought I should try my luck at selling my weeks on ebay. Never again. They are such bastards!

During the selling process I was looking online at what the charges etc were and somewhere I saw that if the item doesn’t sell then you don’t get charged the listing fees. I obviously misread it. My fees were £9.26. My item didn’t sell. I still got an invoice! I then got an email suggesting I could resist for “free”. Now I don’t trust anything from ebay anymore so I looked into it further. This is what I found out. This is what they DONT tell you:

Item Didn’t Sell? Relist It!

So if you know of anyone looking for accommodation in Thailand give me a shout. It’s still available!

Ok, I said it before and I will say it again. If I don’t win the lottery I have to go back to work and I don’t want to go back to work so I want to win the lottery. If anyone knows the winning numbers you can now do your good deed for the year and share them with me now!

Hey for shits and giggles feel free to give me 6 numbers between 1 and 49 and when we hit the jackpot you get half! We can be the big money swinging dicks!

Thanks!

A lot!

When faced with decisions to make in life what is the best way to go about resolving the conflict in your head? I have ultimately a huge decision to make now. Sleepless nights and bad moods are all too common these days. This feels like familiar territory.

I have this incredible, amazing, unbelievable idea that will rock the world on the “100’s-of-millions-of-dollars” scale. Only problem is I have no money to get me to the point where I can convince the big money swinging dicks of this idea well enough for them to write me a blank cheque. So this is it. Do I:

A/ Suck it up and keep pushing forward regardless of the current circumstances and simply hope that I win a lottery or something? 
OR 
B/ Pack it up and go back to work and then hopefully get around to the big idea in a couple of years when I get the chance?

Neither option is a good one! Neither option is a bad one. It’s all about perspective! When talking passionately about this big idea recently I end up questioning myself if I’m trying to convince myself or those around me. The people in my life that are financially able to assist don’t think it will work. Those that can’t help think it’s the best thing in the world. Is that a sign? Are the people with money smart enough about money to see it as a shite idea? Should I just go make my own cash again and just go it alone? Just me and my shadow back down that Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. Again!