RSS

Monthly Archives: December 2009

Language is a funny thing

If you stay in a place long enough you eventually start picking up local lingo whether you try to or not. Usually you learn the bad stuff first. I think that’s just the international unwritten law. Teach the foreigner the “good shit” and have a laugh.

Languages

I’ve been in Albania long enough to have progressed beyond that, like I can order a beer and coffee and have very basic introduction greetings with perfect strangers. But that’s where it becomes complicated. If I don’t have Puccino around to translate it gets out of hand very quickly! You can either be the foreign prick that walks into a place saying “Hellloooo” as loudly and clearly as possible in the hopes that someone will understand you and return the greeting in English, or you can try and be courteous and utilize the sliver of local dialect you have learned to greet people politely. The latter usually opens a barrage of sounds that make absolutely no sense what-so-ever. Even if you try to kerb it a little with a well placed “ Shume mafal, jo Shqiptar” which roughly translated means “Very sorry, no Albanian”. I think that because you said that in Albanian they assume you are just a lying foreigner and reckon you can communicate perfectly with them and that increases the barrage of strange sounds!

It really reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons when Bart is sent to France as an exchange student! You know it? Crazy I tell you!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 16, 2009 in Albania, Hmmm, L & J, World in 80 ways

 

Remote support made easy

Being in the IT industry has it’s ups and down like any industry I suppose. Except everyone these days has a computer but not everyone knows how to use them so if you are an IT techie then you WILL be called on to help friends and family. Everyone needs to know at least one geek to keep the Facebook and porn streaming going full time. As much as I love to help (most times sometimes), it’s not always easy to understand what’s going on over the phone when doing remote support.

“Right click on the icon, select Manage, click X then on the right click Y and then tell me what you see”. “Right click WHAT?” Very annoying. A 10 second fix turns into a huge deal with both parties pissed off. Until now it has been very difficult to offer remote support whereby I can take over a computer’s control from anywhere in the world without installing some pretty invasive software.

NOW, check this out:

startpageTop_en

TeamViewer: – You can download this application and instead of installing it you just select RUN and take it from there. Check the documentation for help but let me assure you, it’s deadly simple and most importantly secure. You don’t even need admin access on either PC to create this connection and it can work through firewalls.

You can use voice and video, send and receive files, share screens and very importantly, the host can restrict control and kill the connection when they feel like it. I can’t think of anything further that can be required for this type of application. I shudder to think how much time I could have saved myself having access to software like this in the past.

It’s free to use as long as it’s not being use for corporate support and of course if you are feeling a little generous, you are welcome to pay them a visit and donate some change for further R&D

I’m LOVING it!

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 11, 2009 in Contact, Family, Friends, Good News, Money, N.W.R., Random, Technology

 

What is art?

The other night while sitting having a chat with [names removed for privacy] over a few beers at the Irish bar we started discussing art and it’s principles. It’s amazing how many “profound” blog posts of mine have generated under very similar identical circumstances. For the record we were speaking specifically about photography at first and not all of what is including herein was discussed.

The gist I think of the conversation was more about whether or not the definition of art was a fact or opinion. What would one consider to be art? And then, what would one deem good art or bad art? Is this domain governed strictly by the professionals or can an amateur like myself or others have the right to say, “That’s not art, that’s shit / disgusting / pathetic / useless or pointless / ridiculous / [feel free to add your own descriptions]”. I myself feel that both positive or negative critique towards the subject matter is of personal view and therefore simply an opinion. What is deemed priceless art can be seen as cheap wallpaper to someone else.

Personally I think art can simply be described as “an expression for emotive reaction” or something similar. This pretty much covers everything I think including common art such as paintings, sculpture and photography etc as well as dance, vocal or acting and also skills such as “the art of war” or other lesser accepted “normal” forms of art.

However this digs deeper. Let it now be known that I am not offering any opinion on any of the following subject matter but rather beg the question of fact in an arena I am less that adequately versed!

To quote the [selected few bullets] definition of art as per Dictionary.com:

              • the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
              • a field, genre, or category of art: Dance is an art
              • any field using the skills or techniques of art
              • skill in conducting any human activity

At what boundary should (or shouldn’t) any “works of art” be deemed an acceptable or not acceptable form of art as set out by the laws that govern art? Is that boundary set by the “artist” or the “viewer” of said material?

I will mention but a few examples: (Now is a good time to warn it does get a bit graphic). I am sticking specifically to photography to keep it short.

Exhibit A:
Kids running around taking photos of each other on cell phones? You can see these pictures on Facebook, Flickr or any number of online sources. One could look at the photographs as simple childish fun and not think twice about them. What if some thought went into the image? Lighting, position, angle, concept, subject matter and composition but still taken by the same playful kids? Would that now be considered art? What then if it were simply an amateurish snap taken of Yoko Ono by John Lennon in Central Park (assuming they had camera cell phones in the day), would that then be considered some expression by very passionate people? Art? Value is in the eye of the beholder or in the holder of the paint brush/camera?

Exhibit B:
Meaningless blood and guts, gore, brain leaking head wounds, disgusting depictions of death and carnage with maggot infested rotting corpses appealing to some sick fetish of evil doers stuck away in some dark dank cellars hiding from “civilized” humanity. Or could this be war correspondence as covered to varying degrees by all major news networks including Al Jazeera, Reuters and other lesser censored media outlets. Is this now then suddenly seen as a work of art and worthy of a Pulitzer prize?

Exhibit C:
Well lit nude photography with immaculate composition and design with the intention of creating emotive and / or suggestive reactions of an erotic nature? Take the well lit aspect (for example) away and does it become simple cheap smut pornography tagged with the term obscene and tarred with the same brush as other forms of entertainment accepted only by “dirty old men” in seedy peepshow cinemas? Could the same porn and smut be considered an acceptable form of art? What about an up close and personal view of a female spread eagle showing nothing but her open vagina? Utterly disgusting and repulsive to some? Acceptable but not widely appreciated by others? Perhaps alternatively viewed as sensual form and a wonderful depiction of the sheer beauty of the female body in all her glory? Would dressing it up with jewellery such as piercings etc change any points of view? What if you dim the light, add some colour or shading or Photoshop texture or other filters and effects? Is a sepia pencil sketch mosaic vagina cheap smut porn or art?

Exhibit D:
~Most definitely the point which could offend some if not all so I repeat again: This is not my personal view but rather begging the question based on cold fact or general opinion!
Child pornography, snuff (being the act of recording in a media format the act of dying or killing of a human being or animal) or bestiality? I already know the immediate reaction by almost everyone including myself. This is out of the question and in no way could be considered art in any form whatsoever without exception. Now what if any of these were done in a way that was expressive and thus conjuring up expressive emotion? Is anger and disgust not an expressive emotion? As sick as any of these forms of expression are, are they not just that? Forms of expression? And did it not just conjure up expressive emotion? But seriously now, what makes this wrong? THEY ARE ALL AGAINST THE LAW and obviously rightly so. These are such laws as set out by civilization to outline what society deems as the normal behaviour for humanity. Even so I’m sure the law enforcement agencies around the world will agree that there is no shortage of any of the above mentioned material available across countless mediums therefore there is a market for it all. Murder, paedophilia and bestiality are all the actual act that is illegal making the recording of such activities equally as illegal. Now what if you happen to be in a country that did not consider any or all of these acts as illegal? I certainly hope that no such country exists but what if we analyse one aspect more closely. What if the legal age of consent of a “minor” in one country is 14 years old and another is 21 years old? Could the photographing a naked 15 year old in an acceptably agreed artistic way in Country 1 be seen as art by citizens of Country 1 and vile and despicable by citizens of Country 2? Is that not a clear example of what is simple opinion?

Get back to the original discussion and how this all started: What is art and what can be deemed artistic?

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 10, 2009 in Art, Hmmm, Nude, Photography, Rant 'n Rave, World in 80 ways

 

Merry Xmas! :-)

This is, hands down (preferably hand ON), the best Xmas card I have received so far this year. It’s an easy contest winner however cos it’s also the ONLY Xmas card I have received this year. Even it was junk mail I’m still grateful! 8)

Seasons Greetings

And a very merry Xmas and New Year to you too!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 9, 2009 in Art, Boob, Breast, Christmas, Cleavage, Female, Good News, L & J

 

DH(Hell)L Strikes again!

I went on a bit of a rant before regarding DHL and it’s incompetence of mass destruction when I had to get a package from Rome to Albania. It’s happening again. This is supposed to be in the top courier companies in the world right??? I quote from their website:

“Today, it [DHL] stands tall as the global market leader of the international express and logistics industry”

So Puccino calls them yesterday to make the arrangements (cos it’s easier for her to speak Albanian) and set everything up for a Thursday collection of documents at the South African Embassy in Rome. This way we are giving them plenty of time and notice so that the collection and delivery can go ahead unhitched.

This is what they told her: “It would be better if you email us on Wednesday to order the job for Thursday otherwise we might forget”. I mean honesty is one thing but this is just plain downright stupidity, ignorance and extremely bad business practise! So Puccino says to them, “You didn’t forget to send my passport to Singapore last time did you? How can you just FORGET?” So they ultra intelligently answer, “Well you know we have a lot of things in the system so we can’t be expected to remember and track everything can we?”

dhl

It seems they have fantastic global technology, a great fleet of planes, trucks, vans, cars, bikes and other methods of transport but what they lack severely is competent staff!

I can only wish that I was making this shit up! This is the new me so I’m not going to act on impulse and go and stab the bitch in the head with a cell phone!

DHL, you had better take care of your crap in your own back yard!

 

Fried Ice Cream

A strange thought this evening was the whole concept of taking something that by it’s very name and nature is cold and frozen hence the "ice" in ice cream, and applying extended heat in this frying process.

I asked the waiter how on earth this ice cream does not melt and therefore should in fact be called, "warm, sweet milk". He half snorted and while rolling his eyes declared "How should I know? I’m not the chef!

I still now have difficulty with the concept that is along the lines of ordering a boiled ice cube but it turned out great none the less. It’s fried in in a ball of cake. A wonderful dessert to compliment an awesome meal!


~ Posted from my iPhone

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 8, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

Tis the season to be Xmas

As I sit here in my “local” coffee shop I see Xmas growing before my very eyes. I sincerely hope that people’s Xmas intentions are less plastic than the tree!


~ Posted from my iPhone

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 5, 2009 in Uncategorized

 

Sunny Tirana

And I wake up to a beautiful day here in Tirana. Sun is shining. Countless cars are blowing their horn. Mr Lollipop Man is blowing his whistle. It all just feels and sounds musical. I just know today is going to be a great day!

May this warm and fuzzy feeling please last longer than 45 minutes this time. That would be nice!

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 4, 2009 in Albania

 

Size Matters???


It seems there is some confusion in the shops here as to what is an acceptable size apperatus to collect your shopping in while making your way around the store.
Not only is this the worlds smallest trolley / shopping cart but this must also be the worlds largest basket! So big it has wheels. Quite freaky I can assure you.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 4, 2009 in Albania, Interesting, L & J

 

Sony Ericsson Xperia X10

The way forward!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 3, 2009 in Technology, Wishlist

 
 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.