So now I have a little car, a little house on a little street, with a little TV that I can watch on my little sofa. I have a little bed that I can get a little sleep on so that I can be wide awake and energised for a little gym workout and a little bit of studying. I regularly pay for a little electricity and for a little laundry to be done. Is this what they call settling down?
I was really hoping that this sensation of accomplishment, satisfaction and peace and quiet would last forever but I think it’s running out. I wake up in the mornings and get ready for gym thinking, “Is that what life is all about?” What happened to that drive? What happened to that dying desire to go be a fly boy the rest of my life? I find myself lying awake at night missing the crazy lifestyle of war torn territories and 18 hour work days. I wonder, is that where I’m supposed to be?
Don’t get me wrong. I am having an amazing time here. I love Port Elizabeth. I love being close to amazing friends. I find it incredible that I actually for once in my life have a house and a car and a place that I can call home. That alone is one hell of an accomplishment for me. But what’s missing? Where’s that spark? Where’s that fire? Is there more to it or is this it? Perhaps it’s a certain special someone in my life? Do I need to go and get myself a girlfriend? Probably not. She would most likely just end up pissing me off again!
I just don’t know right now. It’s too early for a midlife crisis. Or is it? Will the human mind ever be satisfied? Or is it just me?
