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Monthly Archives: August 2008

The hunt for Debbie Jooste

27 Aug

In honour of a good mate’s request, I would like to open the hunt for a girl that has captivated his imagination and is causing him to drive everyone that has anything to do with South Africa insane.

You know the old joke when it comes to Americans, “Ahhh you are from Africa, do you know Billy?” Well this American means it! Repeatedly! Although he is not looking for Billy so his question is “Ahhh you are from South Africa, do you know Debbie Jooste?”

** My spelling of her name may be slightly incorrect but please forgive me and let’s just look past that and move on shall we? Thanks **

My answer to his question is unfortunately no, but I did say that I would do my bit and try to help him track her down. I don’t need to ask why cos that’s none of my business. What are his intentions? That’s none of my business. What does he do after years of chasing his tail when he finally catches it? Same deal, none of my business. But still I want to help the poor chap cos I know how it feels. I too have lost one that got away but that’s a whole different hunt.

Where_are_you__by_jajoo

Being South Africa and considering there could be more than one Debbie Jooste, I will list particular exclusions which will eliminate the incorrect Debbies. Come on, play along, it could be fun!

Lets start with:

  • If your name is, or was (you could be married now) Debbie Jooste, please raise your hand high enough so that I can see you there at the back!

Now:

  • If you are not female please lower your hand (hey, I’m just making sure for my poor mate!)
  • If you were not originally from, or have not lived and/or worked in Durban, South Africa, please lower your hand.
  • If you have never smelled really amazing (I got this list from him remember), then please lower your hand.
  • If you have never been a devastatingly nice girl (again I got this from him), then please lower your hand.
  • If you don’t, or have never, looked super hot in pink bikini, please lower your hand.
  • If you are not, or have never been, blonde (natural or not), please lower your hand.
  • If you are not around 5ft summin, then please lower your hand.

I’m beginning see why he still had a crush on this girl!!

  • If you have never been a manager of ISOS, then please lower your hand. If you need to ask what ISOS is, then please lower your hand.
  • If you have never been to and worked in Burma, please lower your hand.
  • If you have never been to and worked in Bangkok, please lower your hand.

Ok that’s all I have for now as he didn’t want to divulge any info too personal although he continues to speak highly of you/her.

  • If your hand is still waving up there in the air, you can lower it now but for the sole purpose of getting in touch with ME! I have an urgent message for you!
  • ALSO, if you know someone that could have played along and her hand would still be waving up there in the air, same deal, please get in touch with me. I have an urgent message for her!

Thanks for coming. I really appreciate your help. Debbie, I look forward to be talking with you soon!

Ps. Debbie Jooste. You sound incredible! I wish there were more of you around!

If it is you or you have any information pertaining to the goal at hand, then please either leave a comment or email me on offthehoox@gmail.com

 
14 Comments

Posted by on August 27, 2008 in Friends, Hmmm, Interesting, South Africa, World in 80 ways

 

My Mate ORT

26 Aug

I am becoming a bit of a regular at O.R Tambo Airport (ex Johannesburg International, ex Jan Smuts).

Saturday I got the message that my mate that I knew from Iraq and now more recently, Angola, was passing through Johannesburg en route back to Angola. So off I go at 9pm to meet him at his hotel. Typical South African style, he gets screwed around at the airport and has no way of finding his hotel. He was staying at the Sun International and they gave him directions to the Inter-Continental. There’s a big difference and he ended up catching a cab. Needless to say that it was closer to 10:30 by the time he checked in so it was closer to 1:30am by the time I left. He is now back in Angola.

OR Tambo

Last night then, Rocky came back in from Angola. It was so kewl to see her again. We keep in contact quite a bit but it’s always nicer talking face to face. I shot through to the airport for 6:30pm anticipating her coming through then after landing at 6:00pm. Typical South African style she got screwed around coming through. The board said her plane had landed 25 minutes earlier than a text from her saying they had just landed. Anyhow we went through to the domestic section and she checked in. That was another story but I’m getting really bored of slating South African inadequacies and lack of service.

After she checked in we went around to the Keg and had a few glasses of wine and a good meal. So nice to talk to someone who is like-minded, where we understand what’s going on in each others lives and there’s just no stress. These are the kinds of people I want in my life. The bullshit and stress can stay far far away!

At 8:30pm she got on her flight to Cape Town and I drove back to my little place in Midrand. It was nice to be in bed and falling asleep before 10:00pm

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 26, 2008 in Friends, South Africa, Transport, Travel

 

F*ck Me – It’s Friday

22 Aug

Another stupid week gone by. Can people please stop trying to piss me off? It’s really not working. I have enough shit to deal with without petty crap. I learnt a lesson a while ago: “Leave history where it is, in the past! Shut that door, lock it and throw away the key”.

School has again been blistering. I kinda hit a brick wall on Thursdays after 4 hours of day class and 4 hours of night class every day. I shit you not but I actually become slightly dyslexic when trying to copy stuff down. And when I try and plot something from Durban, I end up tracking everything I need to but from Cape Town or some other place equally stupid. That is a real pain in the ass and extremely time consuming. Fortunately I do know what I’m doing but I just have to concentrate even harder not to make the stupid mistakes. That however makes me even more brain tired which causes me to make more mistakes. See the cycle? And by the time I get home I am so wired and on edge that I cant sleep until 4am and I’m up again at 7 for day class. The vicious circle tightens! Fortunately tonight is officially the last night class. There are just two informal roll over nights late next week. Ahhhhhhhh REST. Oh and time to study to prepare for exams! Fun Fun Fun

TGIF

This weekend however is going to be spent  doing as much relaxing stuff as possible. That sounds odd. Force myself to relax. YOU WILL RELAX AND HAVE FUN OK!!!

I’m going back to my mate in the North (of JHB) tonight. He is having a braai (BBQ). Then tomorrow I will most likely catch up with a sweet dear friend of mine and on Sunday, hopefully if it’s a good day, get a bunch of people together and have a kewl lunch out at Hartebeespoort Dam.

The weather is here. Wish you were nice!

Have a great weekend! See you next week!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 22, 2008 in ATP, CPL, Female, Friends, Life, South Africa

 

Fast Food?

21 Aug

I was in a hurry today so opted for a quick bite to eat and then dash home to complete some urgent errands.

The first place I stopped at was Steers. There must have been 20 people waiting to order. I waited 5 minutes and asked the chap in front of me, how long he’d been there. 25 minutes!!! I walked out!

Second place I went to was Roman’s pizza. Same number of people, I never stopped to ask times etc, I just kept on driving.

 

Third place I went to was KFC. The drive through must have had 30 cars but I was now out of options and had wasted too much time on getting fast food. I went inside and it was empty. I walked up to the counter, ordered my food and 1 minute later I walked out. What’s the deal with that? Can’t the drive through window get similar attention.

I’m not sure if they are all trying desperately hard to look like they are so good that they are super popular to entice you in like some night clubs do but it doesn’t work quite the same with junk food junkies like me.

Notice to fast food establishments, “Don’t let the queue build. It just gives you a REALLY kak name!”

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 21, 2008 in Ideas

 

Mile High Club

20 Aug

I was talking to a good friend of mine, Shanz, recently and we got onto the inevitable aviation discussion, “The Mile High Club”

For those who don’t know, all one of you, the Mile High Club is quite simply an unofficial “club” of people who have had sex at an altitude of above 1 Mile.

Mile High 01

So I got to thinking. Could this be possible on the ground? After doing a bit of maths I thought it may just very well be possible. Allow me to explain.

1 Mile = 6080 feet
Johannesburg = 5994 feet
Carton Centre = 203 meters / 665 feet

Therefore : The top of Carton Centre is approx. 6659 feet AMSL (Above Mean Sea Level) which by far outdoes the minimum 6080 feet requirement. I think you can see where I’m heading with this.

So, the only questions I have now are, “Does the Mile High Club count at +1 Mile AMSL or does it have to be + 1 Mile AGL (Above Ground Level)”, “Does a shag on the 52nd storey of Carlton guarantee entry into this world famous and specialized club?”

I think I know where the outcome will lie but it’s worth a shot. Sorry for you earthlings!

Mile High 02
(Click for larger image – It’s worth it!)

You better start speaking nicely to a pilot. Give me a shout, I can probably hook you up in the right direction. 8)

 
9 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2008 in ATP, Boob, CPL, Female, L & J, Nude, South Africa, Wishlist

 

Beijing Olympics

19 Aug

So we all know that the 2008 Beijing Olympics are currently underway? Yeah? We all know this right?

beijingolympics

Has anybody told Team South Africa? I’m looking, I’m looking but it doesn’t seem we are even featuring. Why is this? Do we have a severe lack of athletes? Is there a severe lack of skill? Or a severe lack of funding for training? Politics? Is there a whiff of politics playing a part like the quota system of our Springbok rugby team? These are not rhetorical questions and I wouldn’t mind hearing why, if of course there even is a reason. Maybe our best simply isn’t as good as other country’s best.

Ok we are not completely in the shadows. Apparently we have achieved one medal albeit it being a silver thanks to the gallant efforts of MOKOENA Khotso. You can see the results of the Men’s Longjump Final by {clicking here}.

Already I am hearing on the radio, “It doesn’t make a difference whether you win or lose, it’s the competing and representing your country that counts.” On the same radio I am also hearing, “Oh boo hoo, that’s what all mothers of losers say! We simply suck”

For the first time in a long time, I don’t even have an opinion. What do you have to say about it? Anything at all? What’s your opinion? Discussion board OPEN!

Footnote: I’m watching the highlights on TV now. The Woman’s Discus females aren’t very pretty now are they? Ladies Pole Vault? Yeah, pretty. Ladies Beach Volleyball? Yeah, pretty. Discus? Hell no! Are they even female? :|

 
9 Comments

Posted by on August 19, 2008 in Interesting, South Africa, Sports, World in 80 ways

 

Car Maintenance

18 Aug

Over the last few days my brakes have been making an unkewl scratching noise. That awful spine chilling noise that is there just to remind you that you are about to spend a bit of money on vehicle maintenance.

I took the car in today to have a look and as I thought, brake pads were toast! It was all over for them. This was kind of to be expected so it didn’t come as too much of a hit. What was a hit was finding out that all four tyres also need replacing and so does my entire clutch system which combined is going to cost me another R4600.

Next time I hear a scratchy noise I’m just going to pull the female maneuver and simply turn up the volume… noise goes away! It’s cheaper that way!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on August 18, 2008 in Rant 'n Rave, South Africa, Transport, Travel

 

Happy Friday

15 Aug

This week was a toughie too. I’m picking up a trend. It seems by this time every week I am stressed and feel like I just want to crawl up and fade away. In a “glass is half full” kind of attitude, at least this week pushes the scale right over and I now fully passed half way on this crazy course!

At least this week was void of bullshit personal issues and for that I am most grateful! Life is easier this way. Let’s keep it like this.

And a massive thanks to Rocky who last night brought me back from the edge of sanity and made me realise again that everything will in fact be alright!

– Just a kewl peppy little lift me up tune!!

So, as for this weekend, I hereby dedicate the Hakka to Rocky for her fantastic Hoox support! She isn’t a Kiwi fan, she just loves watching 15 boys in tight black spandex jumping up and down shouting “Timotei Timotei Shampoo Conditioner!!!”. She then swiftly turns her mind back to the support of the best boys in green and gold! Come on BOKKE! Have a great time up there Rox!

The rest of the weekend has not yet been planned out so it will simply be a go-with-the-flow which is usually the best! Hic Hic….

Ya’all have a great one! I want to hear you all shouting for the Springboks tomorrow!

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2008 in ATP, CPL, Friends, Party!, Sports

 

Arrrrrrgghhhh!!!

14 Aug

I’m sick.

I’m stressed.

I’m exhausted.

I’ve had enough!

Where’s my little white surrender flag?

I.T. in Africa is looking SO good right now!

Damn I’m going to be late for school! I want to puke!

 
5 Comments

Posted by on August 14, 2008 in Africa, ATP, CPL, Life

 

Learn to fly!

13 Aug

I’m no advertising genius but even I can tell this probably isn’t going to be too persuasive a campaign!

Aviation

(Thanks Jazz)

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2008 in CPL, L & J, PPL, Transport

 
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