RSS

Monthly Archives: June 2008

Welcome to Poontang

14 Jun

SATURDAY 14th June (Night)

My goodness gracious me. Patong Beach on a Saturday night, even out of season, is something else.

We were in our hotel that was in fact very comfortable with a lovely pool but when we hopped in a taxi to take us to the centre of all things crazy, we realised how far we actually were from the beach and other festivities.

Never-the-less, we were now in Patong Beach Central and it was time for a Mai Thai! Where can you get a drink here? EVERYWHERE! We were on Bangla Road which is blocked to traffic at night and lined with bars and clubs and is littered with prostitutes, lady-boys, foreign party animals, bar staff trying to get you in to drink at their sleazy bar with promises of great live sex shows and ping-pong shows and neon lights as far as the eye can see. Welcome to the party or welcome to hell, depending on your outlook on life.

It was time for a drink or 20 and there was no time like the present. First bar, Tiger’s and we were sat for a drink and music and great entertainment from the bar staff who we were trying desperately to tell if they were male or female. It was quite early so still a bit quiet so we took another walk to find something a little livelier. On inspection of the entire road and a step on the beach sand, we walked back up the road and decided on the most festive place happening.

I have no idea of the name of the place but it was great. The entrance to this completely open-air bar housed a dancing table where “woman” (or whatever) could get up and show off their “talents” (or whatever) in order to get picked up and taken away for more discreet entertainment. It was a great place and we ended up spending the rest of the night there watching the going-ons and doing some serious people watching. The toilets were a blast too. Go into the gents and there are “females” there arranging their outfits and sorting out their bits and pieces. I almost expected them to stand front and centre and line themselves up for a piss in a urinal. That never happened though much to my disappointment.

The drunker we got the funnier things become. Deeds tried to take a video of some really butch chick (dick) that got all pissed at her cos she wasn’t giving her any money. The video footage is really quite amusing. Deeds trying to be sneaky private eye and getting caught by this thing each time and it getting more and more wound up.

Nearly drinking the bar dry we decided at about 3am that is was probably time to get back to the hotel. This pandemonium could carry on for ever!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 14, 2008 in Party!, Thailand, Transport, Travel, World in 80 ways

 

Cheerio Chiang Mai

14 Jun

SATURDAY 14th June (Day)

Saturday was a day to do nothing, or at least as little as possible. For me anyway. I decided to spend the morning on the internet checking emails, writing on my blog, responding to comments and very importantly, booking tickets to Phuket, our next stop.

Deeds spent the morning at the zoo and I asked to take hundreds of photos so she could just show me what it was like when she got back. She had kindly done so, so after finishing off a bit of stuff I got a slide-show that she put up on the TV. It’s actually a very kewl zoo. Deeds reckons it’s probably the best zoo she has ever been to and it’s only expanding.

I needed to do laundry so while Deeds was at the zoo I went around with my bag of dirty bloogers in search of the express service I had seen advertised earlier. It was quite surreal really. I walked up to this gate of what looked like a haunted house with a laundry service sign on the gate but I was just too scared to walk in for fear of being alive by some rabid dog or something even more evil. After a 30 second debate with myself I turned and walked away. Just around the corner I walked passed a little stand with an even littler Thai woman who started firing questions that I didn’t understand at me and motioning to my laundry. I shrugged as intelligently as I could but she wouldn’t accept this and she abandoned her place at her stand and dragged me back around the corner. She opened the gate like she owned the place and called out to a woman who responded in perfect English. After many thanks, Big Brave Hoox left again knowing that his clothes were in good hands.

When Deeds got back she came with me to pick up my laundry. No I wasn’t still scared I just wanted company (someone to hold my hand). Back at the hotel we killed a bit of time and then prepped for the airport. It was time to leave the wonderful Chiang Mai and head for the beach. Our taxi was arranged for 3:30pm and before we knew it it was time to go.

Another airport, another flight, another 1.5 hour sleep for me.

Arriving in Phuket is HECTIC. All these tour people up in your face asking if you have or need a taxi, accommodation, tours, etc etc etc. It’s actually really annoying. Eventually we decided on our mode of transport and our chosen hotel in Patong Beach but still it took more waiting from these tour people to sort their shit out. Once you have paid them suddenly you aren’t that important anymore.

After paying for a private taxi we were loaded in a minivan bus and screaming down the motorway with what seemed like a pissed off driver trying to kill us all. In the end we got to our hotel and dumped the bags. Time to relax. Or not!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 14, 2008 in Uncategorized

 

Superstitious Monkey Men

13 Jun

FRIDAY 13th June

What a great day to be swinging from trees strapped to cables by pullies and carabiners. Friday the 13th. A damn good thing neither of us are superstitious so off we were, at 7:30am, to our booked tour “The Flight Of The Gibbons”.

Just a bit of background, a Gibbon is a long armed, long legged, long tailed monkey found in the region and they spend a lot of time high up in the trees reported to seemingly fly from tree to tree. Since us humans cant do the same, we have to rely on the network of cables and treetop platforms that the team has professionally set up.

This was first used in the Amazon by research analysts to stay close to their subjects. These days it is simply a great adrenaline rush when whizzing through the air from tree to tree. It really is great fun and a definite recommended tour must if you ever get the chance. Check them out: http://www.treetopasia.com/

They are very strict on safety and you are sat in a full harness with a helmet and double clipped to everything that can save you from falling. They are even stricter on themselves to avoid falling into bad habits.

After a great day up in the trees we went a few kms up the road and stopped at waterfall for more photo opportunities. I think we all slept the whole way home which was about an hours drive. After an early dinner and walk around the Night Bazaar, we were off to bed.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 13, 2008 in Friends, Party!, Thailand, Travel, World in 80 ways

 

Oh my bleeding eyeballs

12 Jun

THURSDAY 12th June

OH MY GOD! Is this what they call a hangover? Shiver me timbers. I think it was that last drink just before 2am that did it! Thank God Deeds had enough common sense to stop me entering every bar we passed on the way home. To think I could have been feeling worse. Thank God too for Gaviscon!

So much for the Flight Of The Gibbon (still to be explained later). It was somewhere around lunchtime by the time I dragged my sorry ass out of bed. I swear I am never drinking again! Ok, maybe only one or two quiet ones!

We could not let the day go to waste so Deeds went down and ordered some coffee and brekkie, came back up with my coffee and orders, “just put some pants on, slug this coffee and come downstairs for a banana shake”. She is such a honey! So my quickie get-ready effort lasted about 40 minutes and included the shit shower shave, but at least then I was ready to hit the road, or stumble onto the road, or better yet, crawl out and die on the road.

We decided that Doi Suthep was the best plan and maybe even throw in a stop at the zoo with was en-route on the way back. Little did we know that it would take that long to get there. Now you can try imagine how I was feeling being bounced around in the back of a mini-truck taxi going up a very long and winding road on a blistering hangover. My mouth waters now just imagining it! eventually we make it to the top which is really just at the bottom of a massive flight of stairs.

The climb however long and tiring, is certainly worth it. It’s an amazing looking temple and offers fantastic views over Chiang Mai. Would be even better if your kidneys didn’t feel like they just been beaten by Tyson over 4 rounds. Oh yes, I’m never drinking again!

By the time we left the temple the taxi driver told us we would not make the zoo in time to see anything worthwhile so we stopped in at the famous Jade Factory which is right next to the temple. It was an expensive but interesting stop! The ride back down the mountain was only marginally better than the ride up. Back in Chiang Mai I was feeling strong enough to go for a walk about so we went for a nice dinner and then a walk around the Night Bazaar. Didn’t buy anything but it was fun to get some bartering practise in before Bangkok.

It could have only been around 9 or 10 when my body started giving way again. I needed sleep so Deeds and I headed back to the hotel, hopped into bed and watched Mission Impossible. It was crap but better than being vertical and having to speak. We were finished.

Z

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 12, 2008 in L & J, Party!, Thailand, Transport, Travel, World in 80 ways

 

Is it 5am already?

11 Jun

WEDNESDAY 11 June 2008

Oh my God it’s early! 5am should not exist in any culture!

Early up – Back to meditation
Breakfast – Back to meditation
Small break – Back to meditation

In the morning we were allowed to take part in a Buddhist tradition of giving alms to the monks. Basically this means that people living in the villages around the temples all stand outside with a bit of food that they have prepared in order to give it to the monks as they pass walking around town. Monks are not allowed to work for money so no shopping or cooking is allowed either and in exchange for the food, they give blessings to the people in the street. Its quite kewl and it was nice to be included in this 1000+ year old tradition and shown how to do it. After our blessing we were allowed to eat.

Fortunately we were allowed to talk again after breakfast. What’s the first thing out of Deeds’ mouth? “God this coffee is shit! My tongue is all fury”. Hahahaha. She did have a point. Although I never actually punished myself with any, everyone else was agreeing/complaining in unison! Ok so the coffee was really bad! The rest of the food was pretty good though.

We were again split into groups and sent off for informal chats and a Q&A session with a monk. Very interesting. Just after lunch it was time to leave. I mean it was fun and all but I think 24 hours of OOOooommmm and Buddhism is enough for starters. It was time to rejoin the sinners.

We were taken back to Wat Suan Dok where we could take our own transport back to our vacations. Deeds got us a tuk tuk with the directions “Home James!” On the way we saw Mad Dog. “STOP!!!!!” Ok maybe we just don’t learn or maybe we are simply determined to have a cracking time in Mad Dog. Whatever it is we waltzed in there and plonked ourselves on some bar stools and ordered what I think were well deserved Mai Thais. Yummy. A Mai Thai after a good meditation retreat goes down like a home-sick mole! Next to us was another traveler, Brent, a kewl Aussie bloke. After about 20 minutes of back and forth banter he hit the road cos he had a trekking plan meeting to attend and he needed to find a working ATM.

Despondent with Mad Dog again, Deeds and I walked out knowing that there was a kewl pub down the road that served GREAT Mai Thais. It was a bar that we sat at before the Muay Thai boxing a few days earlier. We weren’t there for very long before Brent came wandering by and after a quick exchange of “HAHA! Are you following me? No you are following me”, I asked him in for another “quick” drink and that was officially the beginning of the end. Power drinking started there. He missed his trek plan meeting but these accommodating people made a special arrangement for him. He eventually disappeared to make his plans for his trek the following day.

Deeds had this wonderful idea of going to a waterfront Restaurant. She really is gifted with some great thinking! Although the restaurant was fairly quiet it was really good. Deeds spotted a boat moored to a jetty and said she wanted to go eat down there. So up we got and off we trotted asking the waitress to come and serve us down there. It was awesome. Just the two of us on this boat and our very own waitress that I never realized, cos my back was to the jetty, never left and just waited on our every need. Now that’s service.

Stumbling out of there after polishing off a bottle of wine each not to mention all the booze which had been consumed earlier, we needed transport. Nothing. Not a tuk tuk in sight. We have to walk? In this state? No ways. Along the way, which I wasn’t sure about but Deeds is like a GPS - great at direction, we come across a parked up tuk tuk. On the side of the road at a little table is this little tuk tuk’s driver drinking arguably as much as us. It took a bit of positive Deed persuasion to get this guy to drop his mates and give us a ride. I have no idea how much it was or where we went but it was a kewl ride. KEN LEEEEEEEEE! (For all you Angolans! Remind me to show you the video).

Somewhere along the way, Brent had called us as agreed after his makeshift trek meeting and off we went drinking again. I think this is why I don’t like Aussies that much (said in jest). They force me to drink. A lot! We must have played 30 games of pool, patted an elephant walking in the street (as you do in Thailand? – Remind me to show you the photos) and managed to polish of another shed load of beer.

Around 2pm we figured that we should probably call it a night, either cos we had plans to go “Fly With Gibbons” (to be explained later), or our livers were kicking us in the back. So much for one or two quiet ones!

Hic, Burp, Fart, ZZZzzzzz. I’m a lovely drunk!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 11, 2008 in Friends, Hmmm, Interesting, L & J, Party!, Thailand, Transport, Travel, World in 80 ways

 

OOOooooommmmmmmm

10 Jun

TUESDAY 10 June 2008

An early morning. An early breakfast. The sun was shining and it it was a lovely morning to be walking around. Without much direction we hit the road and looked for a place to eat. On a street corner on one of the main roads this guy comes up to us and just starts speaking with us and gives us directions on where we should shop, what we should avoid, what to expect from the night markets etc etc. Mr Panic Hoox is eyeballing this chap after reading warnings in the Lonely Planet about guys talking to you to rip you off. Everything he said and every movement he made, there I was analyzing his intentions. Poor chap just turned out to be in town looking for silk for his wife’s wedding dress. Good guy gave us his blessings and sent us on our way with all our money and wallets intact.

Breakfast became a small brunch in a little place near our hotel where we met an Aussie and an Englishman that gave us great ideas on places to stay in Bangkok later. They also recommended a good massage place around the corner only 5 minutes walk away. It was a great chat but it was also time to be off. We had previously booked into an overnight meditation retreat with monks out in the countryside. The meeting time was 2pm at Wat Suan Dok – “Monk Chat” so we had to get going.

When we arrived at Monk Chat we signed in and quickly got acquainted with other travelers from all walks of life that had shown up for the same retreat. The schedule included a 2 hour chat about Buddhism and meditation and soon after that we were loaded into a truck and taxis and taken to the retreat a long 15km away. We were given a little while to settle in and shower and change into our white meditation clothes that they supplied us and then taken for dinner. We were taught the chant giving thanks for the food and “observing the meal” explaining why food is consumed before eating. Lots of trying to repeat sentences in Thai. On the completion of diner that was it, no more talking until we were told otherwise the following day. This is going to be interesting. Hoox quiet? Hmmmm.

After dinner was our first introduction to meditation, the reasoning behind it, and a few different techniques. It was all very interesting and pretty frustrating not being able to concentrate properly but that is normal and that is the reason for meditation, to calm ones mind and be able to focus on a single thing for more than 3 seconds without your “monkey mind” jumping around from thought to thought. Train that monkey. No don’t slap it (that’s a different monkey), just train it! The rest of the evening was spent trying some of the different styles of meditation: sitting and listening, walking, lying down trying not to sleep, sitting and making hand movements to 14 counts (thats tough!) and some others.

I have no idea what time it was when we finally hit the sack. We had all been separated into shared rooms of 2 per room and not mixed male/female. I stayed with a Brit guy named Phil and Deeds managed to get her own luxury apartment. Some girls get all the luck. Anyway, it was too late to be bothered with roomies etc and after a quick shower I was in bed and falling asleep. This lying down meditation thing works.

OOOooooommmmmmmmZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 10, 2008 in Friends, Hmmm, Interesting, Life, Thailand, World in 80 ways

 

Oh Mai Thai

09 Jun

SUNDAY 8 June 2008

Sunday morning was eventually upon us and I was blatting across town to get to Deeds’ house where it made sense to leave my car for the duration of our trip in Thailand. Boom boom with my new sound system in my car. Awesome!

Not much time was spent at Deeds’ house. Just loaded bags into Deeds’ pop’s car and before long all the goodbyes were done and we were off to the airport. The whole airport ordeal was very simple and pleasant to say the least. We were there early and just glided through everywhere. I’m sorry to disappoint you sadistic people who love my airport screaming rants and raves. Not this time! A few pre-flight drinks were in order and shortly after we were on the plane. WE ARE GOING TO THAILAND BABY!

Climbing onto the plane I was threatening to be asleep before takeoff. I never lie! I woke up for food and although I did threaten to be asleep the whole way, Deeds got me curious about the in-flight entertainment system. So much for sleep – 3 movies, 2 meals and a couple of games later. We did manage a few hours forced snooze so as not to be the zombie version of a fresh-off-the-boat traveler. Squeak squeak 6am touchdown! Whooo hooo!

MONDAY 9 June 2008

By now we had already decided to go direct to Chiang Mai so all that was required was a quickie immigration stop, bag collection and off. Deeds’ bag was in the first 10 to come off the plane. Mine was I’m sure, in the last 10! What’s with THAT??? The bags were checked at the SAME time! No drama at least all the bags were with us. Next stop Chiang Mai.

TAXI!!!! “Take us to the bus station please”. About half way there and 700 Baht later we decided that it would probably be better to fly there? Great. No place for a U-Turn. So we make it all the way there through 2 toll gates and rush hour. I figured since we were there we might as well check the prices. Oh and getting out the cab suddenly this loud music plays and everyone stops and stands at attention. My ego gave way after about 10 seconds realizing it wasn’t the Bangkok Welcoming Committee sent out for our arrival but instead some dedication to the king. Oh well. 900 Baht for a bus ride? For 10 hours on a stinking bus? Thanks but no. TAXI!!! “Take us to the airport please”. Oh the lifestyles of the rich and clueless.

I’m loving the seamless airport adventures I am experiencing now. We just walked in, spoke to 2 people, bought tickets, checked in and before we knew it we were back in a waiting lounge. LOVING IT! 45 minutes later and we were cruising at 32000′. Apparently Deeds had to elbow me a few times cos people started glaring and watching me snore. How embarrassing. What if she wasn’t there? What have people been saying when I have been traveling alone with no one there to elbow me? Oh the shame. Oh whatever. At least I get to sleep!

What’s the frikkin deal here with the bags? AGAIN our bags were checked at the same time, AGAIN Deeds is falling asleep waiting for be to get my bags last off the plane when hers comes off almost immediately. The airport carousel gods are against me! Fortunately though there was a little hotel booking booth in the arrivals hall so we made our arrangements there and were escorted by taxi to the front door. “Backpacking” done civilized! Turns out the “new” Lanna Orchid Inn has only become so in the last 5 days (very new) so all the signs still say Lanna Lodge Hotel. Typical flashy glossy brochure with 20 year old photos when the place was first constructed and delivered all wrapped in cellophane and ribbons. Oh well, our pink curtain 70′s style basic palatial apartment was just what we needed, a clean place to sleep with hot and cold running water and a toilet that flushed properly, after I unblocked it! Best of all it is centrally located to some great places.

We simply dropped our bags and walked out again. It was time to see Thailand! Our walkabout started. On the way in we saw a kewl looking bar called Mad Dog. We tried to find it again but on later reflection it seems we turned left instead of right. No biggie cos that’s when I saw the Häagen-Dazs ice cream shop. God I have been dying for some good ice cream for a while! My GOD that was the most expensive ice cream I think I have ever had. It is an import I guess. Banoffee Pie ice cream… Hmmmm It was worth it!

So picture this now, we are in Thailand and our first meal is…. German food at a German restaurant. I know I know but I don’t care. It was open and it was great! That was also the location of our first Mai Thais, and our second and ummm third and forth I think. Anyway who’s counting? The manager of the place was really kewl. When I asked him where I could pick up a local SIM card he dragged me up the road to the 7-11 and helped me get one and charge vouchers and everything. When we got back to restaurant I asked about a good massage and next thing a car pulls up to take me to a place. Deeds at this stage is half falling asleep so she decided that an afternoon siesta was the plan. She went back to the hotel and went to sleep. I went for my first Thai massage and… fell asleep for an hour and a half. It was just what the doctor ordered and now it was time to get ready and hit town again.

Monday night is Muay Thai (kick boxing) night in Chiang Mai and we were not about to miss it. It was incredible. Excellent Mai Thais (drinks) and beer. Oh and some Jagermeister for good measure ordered from what I think was my first run in with a “chick with dick”. Hey I don’t really know maybe there had been more by now but it was the first obvious one! The boxing was great. 6 year olds beating the crap out of each other, adults, locals and foreigners, guys and chicks and for great laughs, 4 guys blindfolded swinging madly even connecting the ref from time to time. It was awesome. Deeds had a bit of bog (toilet) trouble. Apparently the toilet was a half squat with drippy water and a cup to flush. Aim was a bit of a mission I hear but it’s ok, shoes dry quick enough!

Once we were done with boxing we realized we were on the right side of town again for Mad Dog so we walked around only to find it dead! What a let down. Well it was late so probably a good time to go to bed. On the way we passed loads of loud, small, chicky bars that looked very innocent a few hours earlier in daylight. Anyway, sleep time. We got in and jumped into bed. Of course I snored all through the night and Deeds loved it! In the morning she commented on how rhythmic and soothing it is. Good girl after my own heart!

It was a long 2 days and now its all over. Goodnight Chiang Mai! 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 9, 2008 in Friends, Holiday, L & J, Party!, Rant 'n Rave, South Africa, Thailand, Transport, Travel, Uncategorized, World in 80 ways

 

AWOL in Thailand

08 Jun

Today I fly. Tomorrow I wake up in Bangkok

I could spend the next few paragraphs explaining about things there and what I am going to do etc etc etc. But I figured, what’s the point?

Instead I will drop a few pics:

BACK ON 25 JUNE 2008

LP-Thailand

 Thailand 02

Thailand 03

Thailand 04

Thailand 05

Thailand 06

 
6 Comments

Posted by on June 8, 2008 in Holiday, Party!, Transport, Travel

 

Craighall Car Radio

07 Jun

Life becomes so much easier when dealing with professionals.

Craighall Car Radio

After all the run around this last week trying to get things arranged in an orderly manner and being messed around every which way, I can assure you it was a blessing to deal with Craighall Car Radio. When I went to see them they spoke to me with knowledge and understanding and did not sound patronizing when I explained that I knew nothing about what they were talking about. They priced the kit that I was looking for at extremely competitive rates (ie, cheaper than HiFi Corporation) and allowed me to make a booking whenever I wanted.

When I asked for it to be done on Saturday, after having to mess them around a couple of times because my car wasn’t ready from the dealership, all they asked was for me to be there by 8:30am so they could get it out before 12 when they closed. So I did and I got it back completed at 12. They also took one look at the electric windows I had installed and they laughed. I have been given crap and even at that, it’s not installed properly. On testing it, it broke. I was pissed! One call to the dealership later and it has been agreed that the motors that I have had installed will be ripped out and replaced by Craighall Car Radio. I wish I knew they did that when I first went there.

So the next time you have a need for almost anything kewl done to your car, give CCR a shout.

Amongst other things they do professionally:

  • Any range of automotive sound systems including competition kit
  • Electric windows
  • Smash-n’-Grab tinting
  • Tracker and Matrix systems
  • Aircon re-gassing
  • Bluetooth handsfree carkits
  • Etc

Try them, I can promise you now, you will not be disappointed! Credit where credit is due!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 7, 2008 in South Africa, Technology, Wishlist

 

Stories and lies

06 Jun

When talking to dealerships, which is it? Stories or lies?

I still don’t have my car that I paid for last week and was promised on Monday. Every time my phone rings it’s another bloody story as to how they have been fucked around by their suppliers and how they are being the good guys in trying to get this resolved. I am fast running out of patience and I feel I have been nothing but reasonable until now.

You know when a secondhand car salesman is talking shit? His mouth is moving!

I have had enough. This car had better be damn well perfect when I collect it. This is their last chance. No more bullshit!

 
6 Comments

Posted by on June 6, 2008 in Africa, Rant 'n Rave, South Africa, Transport, Travel

 
← Older posts
Newer posts →
 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.