People love pilots. People need IT geeks. See where I am heading with this?
I am a little tired of having everyone refer to my paid career, my life, with comments like, “Oh I don’t understand all this computer bullsh!t”, and other comments like, “Damn things were so much easier without all this stupid computer nonsense”. Well I say, “here you go. Have the stone ages you technophobic, slide rule graphing, antiquated delinquent, IT-illiterate-in-the-21st-century dinosaur! ASSHOLE!”. These same assholes are quick to complain when their Skype wont work, their cell phone wont connect, the internet is a little slow, or when one of the other 100s of technologies this industry has offered to make their lives simpler 99.99% of the time, is unavailable. Deal with it!
The other gripe I have is the same complaining old-school engineer that hangs over your shoulder with that pickled tobacco and last night’s whiskey breath watching and starts questioning your every move like he knows what the hell is going on.
- Rule #1 : Get out of my way. Don’t ask for help and then completely block any access to your computer and continue to mash your keyboard wildly the way you did when you created the problem in the first place.
- Rule #2 : If you think you know better, do it yourself. I don’t tell you how to build a power station / bridge / gas plant / count beans / wipe your ass. Leave the I.T. to the I.T. guy!
- Rule #3 : Don’t ask if you don’t care and don’t really want to know what was wrong. I don’t get a kick out of trying to explain the inner workings of the network that you broke to people who look as interested as if I was explaining how to make soup!
- Rule #4 : If you can’t get your memory stick connected to your PC on your own, don’t ask me how to set up a wireless network on your own at your house the next time you go home. Call PC World and pay out your ass like the rest of the population.
- Rule #5 : I don’t have “magic fingers”. I am just f*cking good at what I do! It’s my job. No one acts surprised when you manage to complete your tasks assigned to your position. Although sometimes they should!
- Rule #6 : No you can’t get your wife to call me for IT support whenever she has problems logging onto MSN or Skype. It’s not my problem. I don’t get everyone I know to call you when they are having trouble with … oh I dunno … whatever stupid thing it is you do in this place.
Here is why it is so much better being a pilot:
- Rule #1 : No one will ask you how to fly to their destination and then climb up into the cockpit and try get there themselves.
- Rule #2 : No one is going to come and knock on the cockpit door and offer advice on how to power up the turbine in engine #4 without overheating it.
- Rule #3 : No one will ask you about the laws of gravity and principles of flight. They just accept that planes fly.
- Rule #4 : No one is going to ask you how to fly a plane cos that’s what they want to do the next time they are at home.
- Rule #5 : Same as above: “Pilots don’t have “magic fingers”. They are just f*cking good at what they do!”
- Rule #6 : Ok, if your wife is hot you can get her to call me and I will take her flying. When she gets back she may have just become the newest member of the Mile High Club.
People admire pilots. People abuse IT geeks!
you could always start a service for people to join the mile high club in your plane. (put a curtain between you and the back seat??????)
Spoonz - Are you nuts pal? I want to be in the back seat. Have you not heard of auto-pilot?
so you want to rockspider on the people in the back??? HA HA HA
Spoonz - Rockspider? You frikkin Aussies need to learn real English… “Chuck anudda Britney in the ridgey didge”??? hahahaha
hmmm i am feeling a lot of anger pulsing through my computer screen!!! I dont suppose, while all this is going on, you have me phoning you to help me with my computer issues?
sorry big guy…but you my bestie… know one knows there way around my computer like you do!!!
Hoox,
you know i don’t drink Whiskey, what you could smell was a rather good Cognac……
Kinell, that is a good likeness of me you have put up there..is that an Avatar? how do you……oops sorry.
KT - You should feel that anger pulsing through my veins in my forehead. Have you still not contacted Telkom yet? How is your ADSL doing? Or is this another problem? I agree, you need a new laptop… Thank you Mr Insurance!
Billy - Cognac? Arrggghh… At least you have style!
Billy - HUH?? You talking to me? Hahaha. The faces (yes avatars) are auto created and will show based on the email address you use when you make a comment. Kewl huh? Who is Kinell?
I am all for the crazy Aussie’s idea! Hope you let me know when it’s up and running - he he he! By the way, we do love IT geeks, especially those who solve our problems; we pretend to like pilots more because they seem to be hot (more so than the IT geeks). Not sure if it all makes sense …
Who is KINELL, try putting fu in front of it….fukinell.
IZ - You can be my first full fare! Actually scrub that after your last IT geek comment…
Billy - Ahhhh I’m with ya now… Same as “Far Canal” said out loud
Does this mean that when I hire you to be my pilot while in Africa, I won’t be hearing the phrase “Lets check the log”?
JV - Hahahahahahahaha. OH MY GOD! The gift of female memory hey? I can’t believe you remember that! Hahahahaha. So funny! We can still check the log if you like though!
Well, Rule number 6 (IT Geek) sounds like:
“I’m sorry it’s not work related…right?:)”
which is completely different from the Rule number 6 (Pilot)-it doesn’t look like
a rule at all:
“I will take u flying with me…”-that’s your job!!!
Hmmm the first one maybe is… Safe??? but the second one is DANGEROUS!!!
hahaha Watch out…auto-pilot doesn’t work when u’re out of fuel…
KP - It’sonly not workrelated if it’s MSN we are talking about! And yeah pilot rule 6 only comes into play if shes good looking!
Safety? You sound like you work for ES&H? What does safety have to do with having fun? 
Real pilot doesn’t work too well without fuel either!
you are such a majmun! hmmm safety?ES&H? what’s that??? haha
and safety has to do a lot with “having fun”. you know how it is
“Have fun…Be safe!”-:P
well…you are the pilot!
KP - Have fun / Be safe? Are you talking about the use of condoms? Pilots ALWAYS use condoms… to keep their cigarettes dry in the case of having to dump the aircraft over water! So I hear! Hahaha