I started a joke

4 02 2008

As they say humour is the best medicine. So why don’t we all sit around and feel good? Like me and the famous notorious WillieG

I was chatting to WillieG on Saturday and we were having a great laugh. As usual with good ‘ol Willie ‘n me, our conversation starting skirting around most of the polite company’s taboo talk. So just before he logged off to take his nice relaxing weekend under the Egyptian sun, he dropped a few jokes or as he put it, “I have a quiz for you my young man”.

So here you have it. I think I need help. I’m too innocent to understand:

1/ Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
_____________________________________________________________________
2/ What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
_____________________________________________________________________
3/ What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
_____________________________________________________________________
4/ What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
_____________________________________________________________________
5/ What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
_____________________________________________________________________
6/ What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
_____________________________________________________________________
7/ Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
_____________________________________________________________________
8/ Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
_____________________________________________________________________
9/ The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________

~{Thanks WG. I had to take some out so as not to die at the hands of an angry mob like last time. Sorry!}


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33 responses to “I started a joke”

4 02 2008
willieg1888 (09:50:36) :

Readers,

I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I was not taking “nice relaxing weekend under the Egyptian sun”.

In fact I was, as usual, working my fingers to the bone. for those who may not know, our weekend is Friday and Saturday. On top of that, our site works a 7 day week.

Worst of all, it was bloody freezing last week. It never got above 23 deg C and I heard Cairo was as low as 3 deg.

so don’t think it’s all sunshine and relaxation here. We work hard for our pittance. Excuse me (yes waiter, I’ll have another beer and could you freshen the peanuts.)

sorry where was I?. Yes, we work hard here and I wouldn’t want anyone to think we have it easy.

Good luck to all of you in the quiz (answers can be purchased from your’s truly).

Bonus question - “What’s the difference between a used tyre and 365 used condoms?”

WG

4 02 2008
Melaz (14:18:04) :

Dear Author,
This is a pretty hard quiz. Feels like at school again…Here are some of the answers to your questions. Looking forward for your kind response. Now be nice with the grading ok. Thank You. Melaz
“ps you’re hilariaus WG…
1. Very interested to know….
2. One is a manhater, the other a manlover
3. Ask Michael Cordy or read his book “Venus Cospiracy”. I’m serious
4. Proving over and over that they are men….
5. I don’t see a problem
6. Horsosexual
7. boldy palpy scotsman
8. boldy palpy scotsman’s girlfriend
9. “lying dead”, confusing directions, and Michalel Bolton in the background
10. still thinking

4 02 2008
willieg1888 (15:15:40) :

Sorry Melaz, I am not allowed any leniancy in this quiz as it would be perceived as a succesful attempt to bribe the judge. I’m not saying that you gave bad answers, it’s just that you get a mark for what it says in the quizmaster’s “Book of All Answers”.

I’m afraid it’s 0 out of 10, but I do admire your plucky attempt at 7 and 8.

Best of luck in your next submission and don’t be afraid to try the bonus question.

WG
PS The traditional bribe used at beauty contests is probably the only one that’s going to work in this one.

4 02 2008
Melaz (15:37:22) :

WG:Now I’m one of those who believes that Beauty contests are degrating to women, therefore never participated or planned to participate in one of those…and not b/c of my height ok…hahah
Ps. I still think you’re wonderful
Almost forgot again the Bonus responce-A tyre might be a goodyear, but 365 condoms is a GREAT year! :)

4 02 2008
willieg1888 (15:41:00) :

Melaz,

Congratulations, you are as clever as you are beautiful. That was word for word, exactly what I got from the “Book of All Answers”.

Now that you have cracked that one, why don’t you have another go at the main quiz.

Readers,

That’s the bonus question solved, I invite everyone to try the other ones.

Regards and good luck

WG

4 02 2008
HooX (16:00:27) :

All - Please excuse my silence. Im too busy laughing to comment. That and trying to prep for a meeting! 8)
Im loving the comments though. Keep the answers coming!

4 02 2008
IZ (17:52:42) :

OK, I could not resist answering the few questions I think I know:

2/ What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.

3/ What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spit, swallow and gargle.

7/ Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

8/ Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The girl who can eat the last donut.

On the other questions I was tempted to guess but then chickened out. Instead, here are two more bonus questions (that is, if I am allowed):
1. what is the difference between erotic and kinky?
2. why do so many women fake orgasm?

Now I am waiting for the wrath of WG!

4 02 2008
willieg1888 (18:34:47) :

IZ,

Well done. 4 out of 10 (I let the party part of Q2 go). So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 4
Melaz - 1

New rule…

You can only add questions if you answer correctly

1/ Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
_____________________________________________________________________
4/ What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
_____________________________________________________________________
5/ What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
_____________________________________________________________________
6/ What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
_____________________________________________________________________
9/ The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
12/ What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
_____________________________________________________________________
13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

WG

4 02 2008
HooX (18:42:46) :

Melaz - Nice work on the bonus Q girl! And extremely nice attempts on the others! I think WG is being a little tough. I think an extra point for a vallant effort is deserved. But hey, that’s just an opinion!

IZ - Priceless! HAHAHA. You have too much time on your hands so it seems! Or one hell of an imagination and dirty mind!

WG - Thank you for naming yourself as quiz moderator. Keep it up! U da maan! It’s only right since it’s YOUR quiz!

4 02 2008
snavy (19:15:23) :

#5 - Has nothing to scream during sex.

#9 - Are you in?

4 02 2008
snavy (19:15:46) :

or

#9 - Are you finished?

4 02 2008
Melaz (21:22:30) :

Hoox: Yes darling, WG has taken it way too seriously and being way too harsh on me. I still continue to think he’s warm hearted person thought. On the other hand I am determined to get an extra point. Therefore, i though to ask my mom on question #1. But I don’t get it. She produced two damn good looking kids (expecially the baby girl). WG: Perhaps you can ask your mother?

4 02 2008
IZ (22:38:15) :

Ha, just remembered another one (I guess from own experience, I am sad to admit):

4/ What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same reason the dog chases a car they have no intention of driving.

Now, my grandma, bless her heart, had an interesting feminist twist on this. She used to say that you didn’t have to marry a pig if you wanted a sausage. Well, ladies, give it some thought.

WG - I do hope I got it at least partially right! I do need some brownie points, you know.

Hoox - I wish I had too much time on my hands - that would mean I was on vacation. And as for imagination - aside from G&T, what else is there in this place?!

5 02 2008
Louisa (08:08:06) :

13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

Because they think men care ;-)

The other ones I knew have already been answered…

5 02 2008
HooX (09:06:41) :

Snav - You go girl! Im very impressed! Hahahaha. Have you ever needed to use #9? Either one? Hahahaha. Ok WAY out of bounds. Ignore that last question! Bad Hoox! Friends? 8)

Melaz - Very cheeky response! Very cheeky indeed! Word to the wise, it’s never a smart move to take a dig at the judge in the middle of a contest. Wait till after you have won!

IZ - Now I know you have too much time on your hands. And what the hell are you doing logging on at 11pm? Go out and have some fun. Oh yeah. Nevermind. After all, things only make sense after a few G&T’s or [insert other strong alcohol of choice]

Lou - Nice work! I’ll have you know that we DO care. Kinda. Sometimes. Maybe.

WG - Where are you man? You cannot be late for your own quiz. You have questions to score and prizes to hand out. Willie, I cant wait to see what you have planned as the prize…

5 02 2008
Melaz (10:24:15) :

I was just having some fun and playing with answers. Sorry if I offended someone. That was certainly not my intention. Melaz

5 02 2008
willieg1888 (15:46:07) :

Snavy,

No score on no 9 because you are guessing. Stick to one answer for No 9 and I’ll tell you if it’s corrcet or not. As a olive branch, I’ll allow you no 5. The “Book of All Answers” states that the full answer is “There’s no-one to scream to when you orgasm”. Mmm I wonder if this has anything to do with Q 13?

Melaz,
I’m going to allow you that answer to 1/ The “Book of All Answers” states that the full answer is “Ask your mother.”, but you were close enough and polite enough to suggest this may not be true. PS Keep the cheeky comments coming, it brightens my day and upsets Hoox.

IZ,

That’s another one ticked off. Well done on number 4

Louisa,

IZ will have to confirm that one

So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 5
Melaz - 2
Snavy - 2

6/ What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
_____________________________________________________________________
9/ The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
12/ What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
_____________________________________________________________________
13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

WG

5 02 2008
snavy (16:52:42) :

RE #9 …

No, I was not guessing. Trust me. Although, the “are you in?” is more of a blow (heehee) to a man’s ego. Which answers the question,”have I used both.”

Did anyone answer #1 yet? I must have missed the answer.

It is doggie style … yes?

5 02 2008
IZ (22:08:08) :

Louisa - I am sorry but it is the wrong answer. However, not a bad guess, I might add!

6 02 2008
willieg1888 (07:32:12) :

Snavy,

Yup, It’s the 3 words men hate to hear. I should point out that this is not based on personal experience.

For No 1, the answer is “Ask your mother!”, but Melaz was polite enough to answer without offending poor old me.

We are down to 4 questions. If anyone wants to send me some more (with the answers of course) then try willieg1888@btinternet.com.

So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 5 (2,3,4,7, 8)
Melaz - 2 (1,11)
Snavy - 2 (5,9)

6/ What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
_____________________________________________________________________
10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
12/ What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
_____________________________________________________________________
13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

WG

6 02 2008
Louisa (08:24:35) :

Okay, lemme try another one…

12/ What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
_________________________________________________________________
Erotic : using a feather
Kinky : Using a chicken?

*Disclaimer: The views expressed are necessarily that of the writer…blah-blah-blah and so on. ;-)

6 02 2008
Melaz (10:30:16) :

Goodmorning Judge, I’m back and guessing #6: A mechanic.
Ps.A gentleman remains a gentleman even after cheeky comments. You’re almost passing my test…Melaz

6 02 2008
willieg1888 (11:12:32) :

Melaz,

Well done. It’s funny that you should think of me as a gentleman. I’m sure our host would disagree.

Louisa,

I like your answer and it sounds correct, but I need the author (IZ) to confirm this.

We are down to 3 questions. If anyone wants to send me some more (with the answers of course) then try willieg1888@btinternet.com.

So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 5 (2,3,4,7, 8)
Melaz - 3 (1,6,11)
Snavy - 2 (5,9)

10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
12/ What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
_____________________________________________________________________
13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

WG

6 02 2008
HooX (11:24:52) :

Nice work everyone!
Oh and WG, of course I think of you as a gentleman. You see I even managed that with a straight face!

Oh and to the question posters, please send them to WG at his address as stated above and also send him the answers so they can be scored quickly?

Thanks! 8)

6 02 2008
IZ (23:32:12) :

That is correct, Louisa! Good job! (hmmm - what am I saying here?!)

WG, you do seem like a perfect gentleman, in spite of being a very tough judge.

7 02 2008
Louisa (07:34:12) :

:-D Thanks Iz!
Whoohoo! I’m on the score board at last!

7 02 2008
willieg1888 (09:57:01) :

Louisa,

Well done……

We are down to 2 questions. If anyone wants to send me some more (with the answers of course) then try willieg1888@btinternet.com.

So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 5 (2,3,4,7, 8)
Melaz - 3 (1,6,11)
Snavy - 2 (5,9)
Louisa - 1 (12)

10/ The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
_____________________________________________________________________
13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

WG
PS I feel I should point out something to the female members of our community. The perception that I am a gentleman could not be further from the truth. Over the years I have (correctly) been called a…

Cad
Criminal
Deviant
Malefactor
Miscreant
Pervert
Predator
Rascal
Reprobate
Rogue
Scoundrel
Villain
Womaniser
Wrongdoer

For confirmation, speak to Hoox

7 02 2008
Melaz (10:18:01) :

Goodmorning Gentleman,
I think I cracked #10. “Honey, I’m home!” . It was really hard question to figure out, untill last night….

Ps. Ladies! We finally found out what could truly upset some males of our community…

7 02 2008
willieg1888 (11:06:37) :

Melaz,

Well done……

We are down to 1 question and, as the question was set by IZ, Melaz has a chance to draw level. Could we be entering a tie-break situation? Looks like I need to open up the “Book of All Questions” to see what we have available.

If anyone wants to send me some more (with the answers of course) then try willieg1888@btinternet.com.

So in our perpetual quiz, the latest scores are……

IZ - 5 (2,3,4,7, 8)
Melaz - 4 (1,6,10,11)
Snavy - 2 (5,9)
Louisa - 1 (12)

13/ Why do so many women fake orgasm?
_____________________________________________________________________

So keep the answers coming and don’t post new questions until the author confirms you have scored.

Good luck

8 02 2008
IZ (02:19:28) :

WG - Didn’t you know that women fall for men of your description?! Those are the guys we consider gentlemen, not the pansy shmancy types. :) )) Or so we say …

Anyways, I would like to know what’s the prize for winning the quiz.

9 02 2008
willieg1888 (10:49:05) :

IZ,

There’s a lot of honour in matching your wits against your peers and prevailing. I would imagine that would be a good enough prize, but I am willing to offer an added incentive.

We are down to 2 contendors - IZ (you have scored your maximum of 5) and Melaz (on 4, but has the potential to draw even by answering the last question). So I suppose I could offer free accomodation in Cairo and the services of an almost trained guide (me) to escort the lucky lady around the various tourist areas of Cairo. Additionally, all food and beverages would be covered by the host.

Alternatively, the winner could settle for a “well done” and the admiration of everyone in our family.

WG
PS Please pick option 2, cause it’s cheaper and quicker

9 02 2008
Melaz (16:18:15) :

Very tempting WG…
I heard a manly response to this question “Because they think we care”…but i refuse to believe that’s the correct answer. Therefore, tonight I will conduct a wee research at Hoox’s jagerz party. I hope that the presence of blonds, brunettes, and red heads plus the strong influence of jagermeister will lead to some meaningful results.

9 02 2008
IZ (19:25:24) :

WG - It is flattering that you think I am such a valiant person. And to tell you the truth - I used to be. Then 6 years ago I started working for who is in my country of origin better known as “capitalist pigs”, then 2 years ago I moved to the beautiful USofA. Soooo, as a result, I will take the option number 2. And to make things easier for you, I’ve been in Carito 3 times so far, loved the place, and probably would not need a guide 24/7. However, I am taking you up on the dinner and drinks offer.

Melaz - Not correct (it figures, as that is a male answer to an almost feminist joke - hm, sounds ridiculous). I will try and make it in time to assist you with your research tonight, unless work prevents me (refer to the above reference to “capitalist pigs”).

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