OffTheHoox.com

I have only 15 days left in Albania. I cannot really believe it. I am feeling quite strange at the moment. It is almost surreal. I really thought I would be over the moon in the last couple of weeks of me being here. My departure has been a long standing battle and now that I have won I have mixed feelings.

I packed it in early last night so that I could get ahead of the game with my packing. Closed up the office and went to my little room, put my laptop on my desk and changed into comfortable clothes. I sat down on my bed to think where I should start this packing process. I never got back up. I found myself sitting on my bed and staring around my room that has become my little hideaway from life for the past 9 months.

I have a BabyBel (link 1) wall. This is basically a section of wall that I used to throw BabyBel (link 2) wax at and it became quite the collection. (BabyBel cheese comes wrapped in red wax that you can squish up and then roll into sticky balls that will adhere to almost anything if you throw them hard enough). That wall represents some very funny, happy, drunk and crazy nights. It also represents some very lonely, angry, sober and sad nights. I decided last night that I could not take it down. My wax balls will stay on the wall forever. I don’t care if the next guy takes them down because in my mind the last image of that wall will be my own. BabyBel Rules!

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I have my South African flag up proudly on the wall. No one really knows it as a South African flag because very little is known about South Africa in these parts. Most people are still shocked to learn that I am South African because I am white, don’t wear animal skins and I don’t have a bone through my nose. I have some people convinced though that I am half black and half white. “From what you can see I’m white but I am black from the waist down. All the good bits are 100% African”. I have had a lot of fun with that and have enjoyed being able to have a laugh at myself. I am very proud to be African. Some very good memories are now attached to that flag which I will treasure forever.

Looking at my Albanian map on the wall reminded me of the road trips that we did through Albania, Kosovo and Montenegro. Some of the most exquisite countryside and scenery even seen on earth. Take out of the equation the hazards and awful driving that you have to endure and you really see what the Balkans have to offer in the way of beauty. I am just sorry that I never got the chance to travel south to where the Albanian coastline becomes extremely picturesque along the crystal clear and turquoise waters of the Adriatic. I did promise people that I would visit the south so I am afraid I am going to have to take a rain check on it this time. I will have to schedule a visit again in the future and see the rest.

I looked around my room to see all my worldly belongings that are soon to be back in their suitcases and put back on another plane. The passport comes out once again transferring me between lives. Some of the stuff I have accumulated along the way is going to be distributed amongst people who I feel will gain most by it and hopefully they will be able to remember the good times when they see or use the stuff. The pillow that I “never took” from the Tirana International Hotel has already had ownership claimed along with some other goodies. It makes me happy to leave stuff here with special people because in a way that leaves a little part of me behind. There will always be a piece of my heart and mind left behind in Albania.

So much has happened since I arrived on 15th February 2007. So many fights. So much anger. SO much desperation and frustration. But sitting there last night I felt completely at peace with everything. I saw only the positive things. I remembered the huge parties that we had in Tirana and the camp. I remembered the feeling of success when even through all the hardships and stresses and difficulties, we were able to pull it off. I was able to create communication systems of 1st class standards out in the sticks and against all the odds.

I smiled when I remembered all the amazing friends I have made out here. One or two are no longer with us but will always be remembered in happy thoughts and good times. Some others have already left back to their lives in far off places back with their friends and family. One even went home to extend his family. Congrats! The friends I am going to have to say goodbye to in two weeks are going to break my heart. The Albanian friends I have made out here are some of the most amazing people on this planet. The long talks over very big beers in the Irish Bar, the coffee stops around Tirana and the special meals in lovely restaurants. Even through all the hardships of growing up in post-communist Albania, they are still so very proud and positive and have a happy and bright outlook on life. We have shared many moments together that I will hold sacred forever. I have learned so much about life from these people. One person in particular I even recently told was 23 going on 50. So young but still so very wise about life. She knows about the pursuit of happiness. I wish her outlook on life was taught in schools so everyone could benefit from a young age. These wonderful people have made me feel at home in their lives and in some way given me a reason to go to sleep warm with a smile and wake up with a smile. Shume Faleminderit Shpirtie!

An amazing quote from a truly special person: (Author unknown)
“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry.
And I know you do the same things too, So we’re really not that different, me and you”

A very true saying heard from a long time project person out here, “Do you know what are the two best projects in the world? The last one and the next one!”
It means the current project whatever or wherever it is always sucks”

Two weeks tomorrow is going to a pretty bad day.

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion’s gone away
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces everytime
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song
just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile
and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down
and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

~Daniel Powter - “Bad Day”