Why men don’t write advice columns…

9 11 2007

Dear Mike,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.
When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs.. Sheila Usk

Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Mike

~Blame Billy for this!!!!





World Champion Support

8 11 2007

Not everyone gets to say they have worn the official jersey of the official champions of world class rugby. I guess it’s all about knowing the right people and having a great cause that people want to support.

Herewith, as modeled by the Lovely KT, the winning jersey of the Rugby World Cup 2007 which was kindly donated to the Goedgedacht Trust* by a support member of the winning traveling squad and a true supporter of this great cause.

Please note the original signatures of all those great men who fought tooth & nail, blood, sweat and tears, to make our nation proud! Stand tall. Stand united!

 Signed Bok RWC2007 Jersey

~*Goedgedacht Trust - “Goedgedacht is a very beautiful old Cape Dutch farm situated on the slopes of the Kasteelberg, just 87km north west of Cape Town. The farm was one of the first allocated to the “Free Burghers” in 1704 and is steeped in the history of the old Cape Colony. However, times have changed and Goedgedacht is now a busy community development centre from where a determined effort is being made to make a real contribution to the new South Africa”.

Goedgedacht

Take a look at their website and see all the wonderful activities these incredible people are involved with in order to give back to the community and help it stand on it’s own. Sustainability at it’s best.

You too can help by donating / sponsoring / dedicating an Olive tree to a friend or loved one, a memory of someone passed, a business, an organisation or even simply getting a plaque up there for yourself. Take a look at the Goedgedacht Olive Peace Grove for all the information you require to give a gift that keeps on giving.

christmascard07

It’s that time of the year again. They also have amazing Christmas cards hand drawn by the very pre-school children they support. They are inexpensive and will go a really long way to help this amazing cause. I tell you what; I will put my money where my mouth is. I will match**, purchase for purchase, every pack of Christmas cards that has been bought by you. When placing the order simply mention to them that Hoox sent you!” They will know what you mean! They can give me the final numbers and confirm officially online my deal closure on December 25th. Make a child’s Christmas dream come true.

Goedgedacht Children

** I’m afraid I’m not Rockafella, I’m the other fella and since it’s just me and not a business making this offer, I will have to put a cap limit of my “match” at 100 packs. I really hope I get to pay in FULL! Come on people, go ahead, bankrupt me!

Remember: Hoox sent you!”

If you have any questions or would like any further info, please feel free to contact Goedgedacht directly at goedgeda@iafrica.com or me at offthehoox@gmail.com 

8)





Beware of Africa

8 11 2007

Thanks to Billy for my little warning message. Maybe he is trying to persuade me out of returning to Africa?

Billy, Africa aint for sissies! They build us strong down there. 8)

lion warning

~Cheers Billy!





Intelli’ Me

7 11 2007

Hookie the Geek!
4 eyes

~No Comment





Effective Communication

7 11 2007

I had to make a very important phone call last night. So I did. Fortunately I have made the same call before so I kinda knew what to expect. Yeah, as expected, voicemail. I checked the time. Hmmmm, with the time difference it was still lunch at the call destination. I tried again later perfectly expecting voicemail again.

He answered after 2 rings.

We chatted for about 30 minutes.

We spoke about everything. It was really good!

It seems my life is going to change.

Everything I have been working towards since joining this company is within reach. I can feel it and I can smell it. What’s better is it is where I want it to be. Back in Africa!

The new year will be bringing in a new life. I swear I will explain it all closer to the time. I don’t actually want to jinx anything!

This could be it! Hoox is coming home! Mama Africa!

Africa News





Titillating Tuesday - "Debut"

6 11 2007

Debut : A debut (or début) means the first major performance or exhibition which a performer or artist gives in his or her career.

As promised, I have the great pleasure in introducing a subject which is very close to my heart. Probably closer still (literally) to the heart of the female of the species but still a subject that I am pretty fond(ling) of nonetheless . The female breast.

(Click for more - Certainly NSFW)

Read the rest of this entry »





Too much for words

5 11 2007

I’m rarely short of words. It’s usually quiet the opposite. At time though, when I go quiet for a while, it means that there is so much going on that, because of my own rules that I laid out when this blog began, I can’t really or wont really write about.

My personal censorship to protect others
Censorship

(Click for more)

Read the rest of this entry »





Tirana drive to hell

2 11 2007

Yesterday it was noticed that I was offline for almost the entire day. I really can’t take a break can I? While the abuse of my short “hair-do” was continuing in the background, I will have you know that amongst other “events”, I was actually doing some work. Yeah right! I was at the airline office booking my ticket out of here! 8) <–1x happy Hoox!

The crap only really hit the fan when we had to leave. I will tell the story by pictures:

Take THIS: (1x Toyota Land Cruiser)

Tirana Drive 01 - Land Cruiser

In THIS: (Torrential downpour)
42-15823054

On THIS: (Cliff road from hell)
Tirana Drive 03 - Cliff Road

In THIS: (Complete darkness)
Tirana Drive 04 - Darkness

Let me tell you, it aint very nice at all. You only really get to see the puddles once they have become rivers over your windshield completely blocking any view of the upcoming corner and million foot drop!. The result was a very tired and very irritable Hoox with very sore eyes and in desperate need of some TLC and sleep. I eventually got the sleep bit after a nice hot shower.