OffTheHoox.com

It’s about time!

If you have ever been to the UK and tried to open a bank account you will know that the process is about as stimulating as having wisdom teeth pulled and about as successful as a bloke falling pregnant. What you need:

• Passport OR EU National identity card (Good luck if it’s not British or EU)
• Residence permit issued by the Home Office to EU nationals (2 year Visa?)
• National driving licence (Good luck if it’s not British or EU)
• Proof of your address in the UK (This gets interesting)
  • Utility bills (You name isn’t on any bills if you’re “fresh off the boat”!)
  • Tenancy agreement (What if you are staying with a friend?)
  • A letter from your employer in the UK confirming your UK address (A lot of employers wont hire until they can pay you into an account)
  • Previous or permanent address in the country that you come from (How long does that take to arrange?)

But now it seems, years down the line, HSBC has hopefully come up with a way to secure an account easily and quickly. With that, unfortunately, comes a cost though but at least there is finally a solution. I have no way of testing this so I would appreciate any feedback regarding this. Does it work?

Check out the HSBC Passport. - “It’s a lot more than just a UK bank account”.

It will cost £60 for 1 year or £6 per month but along with the ease of getting a bank account set up you also get the following (personally I think people would just be happy with the bank account):

Key features and benefits

International Debit Card

• Shop online, over the phone and on the High Street in the UK and abroad Worldwide ATM cash withdrawals
• Cash withdrawals from over 59,000 Link ATM’s in the UK and access to over 900,000 Cirrus/Maestro ATM’s worldwide, free of any fees from HSBC when using your HSBC international debit card.

Exclusive UK relocation service from red24

• Be informed and feel secure with multi-lingual relocation advice. Online at www.red24.info/relocate and over the phone, in 6 languages

International Money Transfer

• Send low cost sterling and foreign currency money transfers

UK SIM card with cheap international calls

• £10 free credit plus international calls from 5p per minute.

Flexible savings account

• Instant access to your savings and an attractive interest rate.

24/7 Internet and Telephone banking service

“England on Monday will start to pick up the pieces after a record 58-10 defeat against South Africa at the weekend, with scrum-half Andy Gomarsall admitting: “Reality has hit us.”

Click for the full story @ Rugby365.com

Nice one Bokke! Good warm up for the RWC (Rugby World Cup)!

I think I have just invented a new word. Ok. I have just looked it up. So I didn’t invent a new word, but I did come up with a new definition. I think. If not who cares. I think I did and that’s all that matters.

It can be used to express one’s feelings without causing any anguish or more to the point, one’s sheer unadulterated fear of commitment. What’s in a word??

Cue ”LOKE“. It’s kind of ”half like” / “half love“.

I “loke” you!

Definition: “Little more than friends, not quite marriage potential just yet”. Shows a good deal of intention without signing the unwritten contract.

It could work. Would have saved me a lot of hassle in the past had I thought about it sooner!

Does anyone know how I can register this new definition? I’m going to make millions!

I LOKE YOU ALL!!!

This is incredible. This may be old news but I was only shown it last night. I’ve been in the sticks for some time now. Cheers Spoonz!

One Red Paperclip - This is a guy who started a website and began by trading just one single, pretty damn ordinary, red paperclip and 14 trades later ended up with a house! Now that’s something to brag about. Most guys start off with a house, get married and end up with the equivalent of a single red paperclip.

So this is how it went:

He turned THIS:

Through THIS (thanks to Wiki):

• On July 14, 2005, he went to Vancouver and traded the paperclip for a fish-shaped pen.
• He then traded the pen the same day for a hand-sculpted doorknob from Seattle, Washington, which he nicknamed “Knob-T”.
• On July 25, 2005, he traveled to Amherst, Massachusetts, with a friend to trade the Knob-T for a Coleman camp stove (with fuel).
• On September 24, 2005, he went to San Clemente, California, and traded the camp stove for a Honda generator, from a U.S. Marine.
• On November 16, 2005, he made a second (and successful) attempt (after having the generator confiscated by the New York City Fire Department) in Maspeth, Queens, to trade the generator for an “instant party”: an empty keg, an IOU for filling the keg with the beer of the holder’s choice, and a neon Budweiser sign.
• On December 8, 2005, he traded the “instant party” to Quebec comedian and radio personality Michel Barrette for a Ski-doo snowmobile.
• Within a week of that, he traded the snowmobile for a two-person trip to Yahk, British Columbia, in February 2006.
• On or about January 7, 2006, the second person on the trip to Yahk traded Kyle a cube van for the privilege.
• On or about February 22, 2006, he traded the cube van for a recording contract with Metal Works in Toronto, Canada.
• On or about April 11, 2006, he traded the recording contract to Jody Gnant for a year’s rent in Phoenix, Arizona.
• On or about April 26, 2006, he traded the one year’s rent in Phoenix, Arizona, for one afternoon with Alice Cooper
• On or about May 26, 2006, he traded the one afternoon with Alice Cooper for a KISS motorized snow globe
• On or about June 2, 2006, he traded the KISS motorized snow globe to Corbin Bernsen for a role in the film Donna on Demand.
• On or about July 5, 2006, he traded the movie role for a two-story farmhouse in Kipling, Saskatchewan.

Into THIS:

This is The Man, Kyle MacDonald:

An invasion of my personal space is like an invasion of my privacy. Don’t do it. I don’t go scratching through your belongings when I come to talk to you! Offer me the same common courtesy that I do for you.

Do not get all huggy bear and intimate and feel the need to come and stick your face in my face if you want to have a conversation. If at sometime you do feel that a situation is beyond extreme circumstances and absolutely calls for it, like you have just found out who really killed Kennedy and want to tell me secretly in my ear, at least have the decency to brush your teeth to get rid of that 3 day old pilchards & funky cheese sandwich and 15 Marlboro per hour stench from your polluted breath.

For those who don’t know: Personal space is like a bubble, an invisible barrier that surrounds people at least 1ft radius. Do not let your personal space invade my personal space either. That means, the tip if my nose must be at least 2ft from the tip of your nose. Get it?

The only exception to this rule is if you are female, sexy, single, desperate and have no place to stay tonight.

Right of Admission Reserved

I think it’s bad / funny enough for someone to be a chav. For people to want to be a chav or who act like or look like a chav unknowingly is even funnier.

No matter where in the world you are, I guarantee you will be able to find an England top or flag without too much effort. One similar to this:

I had a laugh this morning. There was a guy here on site with an England top and I asked about it. He has never been to England, he is not even particularly interested in England nor can he speak much English. Just a fashion statement? He bought the sweatshirt in Tirana, Albania but cannot tell me why he chose it. Why doesn’t he buy an Albanian top? That’s right, because they don’t make them? I think I have only ever seen England, Scotland, USA and Italy finding the need to advertise themselves so much.

I’m so damn tired now that I could sleep for 20 years like Rip Van Winkle.

We went out for “final” Tirana drinks last night and I haven’t slept yet. I had to drive to Reps again today but I was just too tired. I drove halfway and met up with others that left a little while before me. I threw Spoonz the keys as soon as I got to the coffee shop in Rubik and dozed off in the passenger seat. Spoonz drove the rest of the way. Good man!

Goodnight

Im knackered!

6am yesterday departure: 1 hour to Rubik for coffee for 30 mins, 1 hour to Reps to work for 3 hours, then on to Thierre camp and over the mountain to Kukes, then off to Kosovo for dinner and back to Kukes to sleep at 11pm. A long very day

6am today departure: 1 hour out of Kukes camp…..

MY BRAKES FAILED. On that rediculously stupidly winding road with cliffs that lead to a certain death, my bloody brakes failed! Like I said yesterday, “half dodgy Land Rover rental”. Well I was right. That screwed my day up!

We eventually made it off the mountain, driving very slowly using the gears to slow down I might add. We were picked up by a friend of the owner of the hire company and brought back into town.

More news: We are officially moving tomorrow. I am shutting everything down tonight and shipping it to the camp tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night Im officially a member of The Village People, Reps devision. Nothing like a bit of notice!

Its panda-frickin-monium here

~Out

I wish the rental car company would offer me a mileage reward program. I just seem to be living in my vehicle now. But damn it’s good fun and great to be out the office. I travelled this morning with Mik and Spooner, two health and safety guys, so I at least had people to talk to.  

In about 20 minutes I’m getting back in the car and travelling further up the road with Keef. Keef is Lillipot’s hubby from Las Vegas. We will soon be climbing over the back end of an awful mountain trail in a half dodgy Land Rover rental. At least it’s 4×4 and has aircon.

Work is not going too well right now. Having problems with a lot of different kit but at least I am enjoying the drive around. The move is immanent. We are soon to join the mountain people. And then soon I should be out of here.

Tonight I will be eating and drinking in Kosovo hopefully, as long as there aren’t any snags at the border. I will sleep in Kukes.