OffTheHoox.com

Excuse this, Im just testing a new plugin!

So far so good. In the mean time, have a listen to the best song ever created.

Get Em OUT!!

I have just been very correctly informed by a little bird (no it wasn’t a tit) that today, yes TODAY, is National Cleavage Day! Someone pinch me! You have to respect a great company like Wonderbra to show respect for their assets! Or everyone else’s assets for that matter. I know the girls are going, “Hmmmm this is so sexist”. Well why don’t you lovely ladies lobby companies like CalvinKlein and request a National Cute Butt Day, or Durex for a National Prick Day (Oh that’s most days). But for today, the day is ours. Oh and yours of course

“30th MARCH IS NATIONAL CLEAVAGE DAY! It’s your chance to have some fun while causing some ripple effects”.

Right, so this is how this is going to work! Everyone send me cleavage shots (no need to go too hectic but all will be received ) and I will post them today and tomorrow. Perhaps even on Saturday if late emails are sent. Preferably take the photos tomorrow to make it real! As they come in I will keep updating the blog post adding them throughout the day. Tell your friends and family, acquaintances and colleagues, f*ck it, tell everyone and anyone! Get those emails going. Come on, have a giggle! It’s for a good cause! Is it? I’m sure it is! **This National Cleavage Day, Wonderbra is donating all the proceeds of the day to the Sunflower Fund**

No cleavage too big, no cleavage too small. Mail them to Hoox and he’ll post ‘em all

Email to hookins@gmail.com. I assure you anonymity (just pretend I have a standard Terms and Conditions and Privacy Agreement). No names, no faces (unless you want to but then you have to specify). If you shy people don’t want your face in the pic but dont know how to crop the photo, just send it to me with instructions and I will take care of it all! Please put NCD in the subject.

Update:: NC Day is over. Thank you to everyone for your input. I trust you all had a great NC Day. Over and Out!

I have discovered what has been ailing some (all) of us. Albania is so stuck in prehistoric times that we have come down with Tyrannosaurus Rex. Or probably best pronounced Tirana-Sore-Ass-Wrecks. I doubt an explanation is required.

The cure: 2 weeks on a tropical island sipping Pina Colada, and getting caught in the rain

Alt: The cure: An aging rock band still touring it seems.

It’s a jungle out there…

Later…

HX

I almost blew snot laughing when I first saw this. It’s brilliant! This is apparently what happens during downtime in a warzone when you have too much time on your hands. I thought it was suitable since Kosovo is just a-round the corner!

Very funny!

Big thanks to DubDub for the heads up!

Ever since getting here I have been feeling progressively worse daily. At times it feels like I’m coming down with flu or something and then it goes away and I feel ok again, for a little while at least. I thought it might have been our overly excessive lifestyle out here always on the piss and getting hardly any sleep. Since the Paddy Day blowout it’s been very quiet. Hardly done anything or gone anywhere. It’s been quite chilling and relaxing but it seems that’s not the solution.

This here could be the reason. An article by “FindArticles.com”:

Quote:

“Environment: Tirana is now the most polluted capital in Europe, clogged by 300,000 vehicles burning fuel that is banned in the EU and pumping out PM10s.”

I’m getting a little concerned since I have actually been physically sick 2 days in a row, Yesterday I went down for breakfast feeling a little tired perhaps but nothing out of the ordinary since I had just woken up 40 minutes before. I ate my regular breakfast of eggs and cereal and some fruit juice. I sat there for 5 minutes talking to others around the table before I had to excuse myself. I went back up to my room and just in the nick of time. There went breakfast. No carrots though which was quite strange. When I had eventually parked the big white bus I felt ok again and off to work. I had little lunch just in case.

We finished work late last night after a long day so a few of us decided to go for dinner and a few drinks. I managed one beer and dinner and was too tired to carry on, We just went back to the hotel and I went to bed. At what I think was about 2am I got woken up by porn on my TV. ** I fell asleep with the music channel on that switches to porn late at night - but that’s a whole different story**. I switched the TV off and was just lying in bed when I felt this acid in my gut again. Whoh Boy! And I’m up driving that bloody bus around again! Still no carrots. Very odd. But I felt better for it and went back to sleep.

Now I feel a little hungry but I’m worried about having anything cos I don’t wanna waste any more money by chucking it up again. I have paid for 3 meals so far and gotten nothing out of it! Hey… This is better than weight-watchers. Come to Albania and lose weight, Bulimia style.

On another note: The project is getting delayed, morale is getting pretty low, irritation is setting in, everyone has their own personal issues at home they are dealing with and most are just getting sick and tired of being here I think. Lets hope things improve when we move out into the wilderness. Oh yes that’s right, we will be living in rooms 3m x 3m and having meals that will total the value of €4.00 per day. Goody. I cannot wait!

~~ooOoo~~

It will be agreed that on my Sunday Sesh I end up spending WAY too much time on the internet. In my defence however, it is a great source of information, news, entertainment and communication.

So I was sat there yesterday wondering what the rest of the world was up to on the net at the same time. I did a bit of homework. I wish I hadn’t because I just get wound up too easily.

Courtesy of Lycos 50 which is a very interesting site. You should check it out.

What I think gets to me quite a bit is if you take a look at the below list of the top 50 most searched words or phrases on the internet, considering the demographic using the internet for searches, the quality of information being searched for is appalling.

I would take a stab (purely my opinion and generalization) at the fact the highest usage of the net comes from the young to middle age, up and coming or stable, male and female from every corner of the globe (which in itself is an odd statement since it’s a sphere) and economically within the top percentage of the world that has access to a computer and internet. Or business. In a nutshell, it’s either the future leaders of our countries (the new generation), or the generation that is currently in the position to be able to do something positive for this planet and everything that “survives” off it. And what do “we” search for the most? Poker? Stars such as Angelina Jolie, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Aniston? American Idol??

Are these the most important issues these days? If so, we can all be very happy. But hang on a second. What about the wars? What about Iraq and Afghanistan? What about the US elections to see who next will “control this world” as the super power? What about carbon footprints, global warming and polar icecaps?? What about the Ozone? What about deforestation? What about crime and poverty? What about continents being raped and pillaged by corrupt leaders? No? Well. I guess that not half as important as seeing pictures of Britney Spears naked, showing her bits to the world or getting her head shaved. The death of 1 Anna Nicole Smith is more important than the death of 10, 000s per day from diseases, malnutrition, murders, bombings or other seemingly trivial reasons.

Paris Hilton at 375 weeks beaten only by Pamela Anderson at 384. Nice work Paris! Congratulations. So tell us what you have done for this world other than act like a drunk idiot and humiliating yourself and your family that have actually had to work to get to where they are today. You have a secret sex tape scandal and you make it big in this world. Where does Pamela Anderson and her sex tape scandal even feature anymore? I guess I should “Google” her and found out.

In the whole of the Top 50, which I understand is just a computer generated stat and shouldn’t be taken as gospel, the only reasonably positive search tag is Wikipedia and even then I feel I’m being lenient on my judging what is positive. At least Wikipedia is a very good source of information but sadly only staggers in at a lowly 47th place up from 193. I guess it’s moving in the right direction though. However it’s probably only being used to found out some vital stats of some superhero fashion statement like Posh or David Beckham or WWE!

Right I will get off my hobby horse now and let you take a quick look at the list as it stand now: Happy internet searching!

“Here are the top 50 searches on Lycos for the week ending March 17, 2007:”

This morning had some funny moments already. I take that as a good sign to a good start to a good day for a good week. I may be overshooting the mark here a little but no harm in a bit of optimism!

Here is a great quote from another blog Sweet Essence:

“Thought for the year (not day..YEAR):No matter how serious life gets, there is always time to mess around So if you’re gonna be a monkey, be a motherf**king gorilla!”

Thanks for the laughs all of you out there in the real world!

Turns out Saturday wasn’t such a great day for South African sport. Well at least the teams I’m interested in.

Australia beat South Africa at St Kitts yesterday by 83 runs.

Bring on Sri Lanka on Wednesday.

ACT Brumbies beat The Sharks in Durban yesterday 21-10.

I guess every dog has it’s day. This drops us into 2nd place below the Blues which are 3 points ahead. Bloody bonus points!

Right so I’m sulking - Hence Sad Sunday - But enough about sport!

This morning has actually been marvelous. Doing nothing. Another Sunday Sesh. I was woken up at about 9 by room service coming in to make up my room but I didn’t mind because I knew I could just grunt and go back to sleep which is exactly what I did. Until about 11. Since then I have been watching cartoons and dozing in and out of sleep knowing that I don’t have anything to do today. Actually, talking about time, I have just realised, I have absolutely no clue what time it is now. I’m pretty sure there was talk last night about the clocks changing for daylight savings but I obviously didn’t pay too much attention because I have no idea if it went forward or back. Or if it was last night or next week. Again it doesn’t really matter because it’s not going to effect my plans today, of doing nothing. Actually I may go for lunch but then do nothing! Man I love Sundays.

Our little 5 minute claim to fame last night: We went to a nightclub which is actually attached to the Tirana International Hotel where we are living. We’ve known about it for some time now but just never got around to giving it a try. Last night no-one was really interested in the normal drinking holes of Quo Vardis or The Irish Bar or Canon downtown so we thought that the night club, cheesily named “Grand Place” (??), was the destination of choice so it wasn’t far to go home when we had enough. We walked inside and it was DEAD. The 5 of us increased the clientele by 120%. At least service was good so a few drinks were had. The music was already on and at least the DJ was having fun. He was bopping all over the place acting like he thought he was Boy George or Carl Cox. Then by surprise appearance, the Diva of Albania, top female artist, Ciljeta, showed up and did a live show on stage for us. I say for us because there was still only about 30 people in this night club. After her show she even came down onto the dance floor and danced with us. I didn’t know any of the music or how to dance like an Albanian so people were laughing at me and trying to show me how to dance by wiggling my butt and shaking my shoulders but I still don’t think I pulled it off very well.

I think it was around 2am or 3am that I declared enough and made the call to head to bed. I was knackered. But climbing into bed I knew it was going to be a great sleep knowing that I didn’t have to set my alarm or get out of bed at all! Did I tell you how much I love Sundays? May Sundays last forever! I think Im going to go back to sleep now.

Have a lovely Sunday!

HX

It’s that time of the week again and again I have no way of viewing any of the great sport that’s on this weekend. Well. I guess I will just have to talk about it and have Pops (thank you) update me as we go along. I will only mention the important items such as South Africa and The Sharks!

Today I will start with the Cricket World Cup since I have not actually mentioned it yet.

But first:

It is a shame when a gentleman’s sport like cricket can be marred with sinister ongoings and devious behaviour. It is horrific that a man of Bob Woolmer’s stature, can be murdered for the sake of a game. Or is it more? One starts to beg the questions. How much say do the bookies have over the game? How much control can be squeezed through match fixing? How many people have to die before it gets squashed out of the game? When does it stop? Who is taking over? Or is this just the tip of the iceberg? Match fixing, pitch predictions and other underhand activities are nothing that have not been spoken about before. South Africa’s own legend, Hanse Cronje, got caught up in the scandals some time back and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one now who thinks he also paid for it with his life. I hope the authorities reopen investigations as to how his plane found it’s way into the foggy mountains of George, South Africa. Thanks to www.cricket365.com for the below story:

Police Study Hotel Footage <– Click for the full story

Police hunting the killer of Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer are scouring CCTV footage and other electronic records for clues.

The potential evidence is from the Jamaican hotel where Woolmer was strangled in his room on Sunday, a day after Pakistan’s defeat by Ireland which knocked the team out of the World Cup. Meanwhile Woolmer’s body is reportedly to be kept in the West Indies until an inquest is held. Detectives on Friday said Woolmer probably knew his killer - or killers - as there was no sign of forced entry into his hotel room. No arrests have been made and speculation is rife that the 58-year-old’s murder may have been linked to match-fixing allegations.

Today’s line up :

Australia v Republic of South Africa - St Kitts

SkyBets giving South Africa as the favourites to beat Australia. Odds 13/8

The Sharks v ACT Brumbies - Durban, South Africa 15:00GMT

!! COME ON SHARKS !!

Make it 7 out of 7

Many thanks to www.rugby365.com for the following match report:

Sharks v Brumbies
ABSA Stadium, Durban, 17.00 (15.00 GMT)

Both the Sharks and Brumbies spoke this week of their desire to play to their true potential. The only difference is that the Sharks have a six-from-six record and the Brumbies have lost three of their last four matches.

The reason why the Sharks have managed to keep on winning, even while their performances have been somewhat patchy, is that the team have ability to adjust to what the situation requires.

They can play and expansive game when needed and they have the players with the kicking game if that’s what is required.

It is this flexibility, the ability to think on their feet, that makes the Sharks such a dangerous outfit.

As coach Dick Muir said this week: “The team and players are very comfortable to change their tactics from week-to-week and in the game.”

And it is also the leadership within the team - veterans like AJ Venter and captain John Smit - that ensures the young guns don’t do the silly things that cost the Sharks so many games last year.

That is why the narrow defeats of 2006 have become narrow victories in 2007. Yes, there has been only one bonus point in six starts, but you can’t argue with six victories.

The Brumbies have been desperate to get their ball-in-hand, continuity game going.

They have managed, at times, to show some glimpses of their true potential. But consistency have eluded them and injuries have cruelly robbed them of the wise old heads that could keep things together.

While Stephen Larkham has returned from injury and will face the Sharks, Stirling Mortlock ( the real leader in the team) has withdrawn.

And that is one of the main reasons why the Brumbies have been unable to find that consistency. The constant change in personnel means the team is not a settled unit.

Prediction: The Brumbies will threaten, as they always do. In fact this could be one of their better games. But the Sharks look too strong up front and their defensive game - conceding just six tries - is off the top shelve. The Sharks to win by between 10 and 15 points.

Teams:

Sharks: 15 Francois Steyn, 14 Odwa Ndungane, 13 Waylon Murray, 12 Bradley Barritt, 11 JP Pietersen, 10 Butch James, 9 Ruan Pienaar, 8 Jacques Botes, 7 AJ Venter, 6 Warren Britz, 5 Albert van den Berg, 4 Johan Ackermann, 3 BJ Botha, 2 John Smit (c), 1 Deon Carstens.
Replacements: 16 Bismarck du Plessis, 17 Beast Mtawarira, 18 Johann Muller, 19 Bob Skinstad, 20 Ryan Kankowski, 21 Rory Kockott, 22 Adrian Jacobs

Brumbies: 15 Adam Ashley-Cooper, 14 Clyde Rathbone, 13 Peter Playford, 12 Julian Huxley, 11 Mark Gerrard, 10 Stephen Larkham, 9 George Gregan, 8 Stephen Hoiles, 7 George Smith (c), 6 Jone Tawake, 5 Mark Chisholm, 4 Adam Wallace-Harrison, 3 Guy Shepherdson, 2 Jeremy Paul, 1 Nic Henderson.
Replacements: 16 Saia Faingaa, 17 Salesi Ma’afu, 18 Richard Stanford, 19 Julian Salvi, 20 Patrick Phibbs, 21 Anthony Faingaa, 22 Francis Fainifo

Referee: Bryce Lawrence (New Zealand)
Touch judges: Paul Honiss (New Zealand), Christie du Preez (South Africa)
Television match official: Johann Meuwesen (South Africa)
Assessor: Tappe Henning (South Africa), Sandy MacNeil (Australia)

Hooray for some. This is your last day of work until at least Monday. Nice feeling I guess. I am just happy that today was timesheet time for us so I got to fill in my 241 official hours worked this month. So a big Hip Hip Hooray for us Saturday workers too! We here know it has been more that 241 but we only allowed to claim on average 54 hours per week.

This just in: Thank you sooo much GB!!

If you haven’t seen this before check it out. It really is quite brilliant! I really have wasted about 15 minutes just watching it! Awesome!

Ok stop looking at the picture! Your eyes will start to ache and you will think you are hallucinating, which by now you probably are. So the plans for the weekend? Why don’t some of you add a comment and tell me what you are up to this weekend. Make me jealous. Or on the other hand, make me feel better that you are having as boring a time as I am. Is that even possible?

I had an interesting phone call about an hour ago. My company asking where I want to go after this assignment. The opportunities are endless. Pick a continent. Pick a country! I’m afraid I can get into trouble if I actually mention them here on open forum as some of them are still under wraps and confidential. Which means I could tell you but then I would have to kill you. Yeah, all 3 of you! That’s how it works! And goodness knows what would happen God forbid, if you forwarded it on to anyone. That’s a lot of blood. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I’m thinking why they are asking me so far in advance where I want to go. But hey, why question it? Just roll with it. I mean it is a few months away at least before I get to leave Sunny Albania.

I have an idea. It’s not a very good one but I will take any idea I have these days. Why don’t you (3) people suggest places where I should go. North South East West. It can be narrowed down later. Or drop in actual places and give reasons why. Use your imagination. If I cant find anywhere exciting to go maybe I will just pack it in and go home. No more passport. No more thrashing.

Right, back to the weekend. What you doing? Where you going? Send me photos on Monday of things that you got up to and I can stick them online. Come on … you know you wanna. 5 minutes of fame that you can show your friends and family. Just remember my mother reads this so I will have to censor to “some” extent what is acceptable and what is not. Anything deemed too explicit will be directed to an alternate online location. Send them all to hookins@gmail.com. Either way your pic will go up! Now get out there and PARTY! If not, I am going to have to put up a picture of Skittles in his boxers! I cringe!

Skittles & his bird - He got lucky later?

Now I should possibly get stuck back into this thing called work. I recall I needed to kick someones ass this afternoon but I cannot for the life of me remember who it was and for why. So I will just start kicking and the person that doesn’t kick back will KNOW he deserved it. I can then ask him why. Simple really. Process of elimination. What? You think you can come up with a better solution?

Crack on people. Live it up!

X