Hello again fellow people.
I could start off by saying how absolutely fabulous it is to be getting back in the saddle as the “saver of the world 1 PC at a time”, but I would be bullshitting you and me. As they say, all good things come to an end and my holiday was no exception. There is one change I think, the word good. Exceptional things seem to come to an end too! Only faster. All round it was such an incredible, funny, lovely, relaxing, beautiful, hectic, fun, amazing, tranquil, painful (I could go on) holiday. I will try and break it down some.
The pain started right away at the start. Travelling to QueWait or Q8 from Badgag is never easy and usually takes a lot of energy, patience and time. This trip, hopefully being my last, seemed to be different from all the rest right from the word go. Instead of getting on the “Rhino” (Armoured bus in the middle of the night), a good mate and security guy was able to get us manifested on a BlackHawk ride into the BIAP (Airport / Airbase). Sounded GREAT until me, tubby the numpty twisted my bloody ankle while running for the helo. I did somehow clamber up onto the chopper and make it to our destination in one piece. I managed good night sleep and in the morning had the plane ride to Q8. We sat on this C130 cargo plane and I swear it was 65 Deg C onboard. No Shit! It was 53 Dec C on the ground and we were stuck in a big heavy reinforced plane with no circulation until after takeoff. I saw sweat form on my body. Relative humidity? Not pretty! Getting into the hotel eventually was fantastic. Aircon in a 5*!
My flight from Q8 was delayed which in turn screwed with my flight departing from Bahrain thus getting me into London 3 hours late. KT (as mentioned in previous post), had already landed in London from SA by the time I dragged my frustrated self through immigration and customs. She was a such sight for sore eyes. Especially with her donning her fabulous new dark brown hairdo. Stunning. I used to date a blonde, I’m now dating a brunette. Same personality. Incredible how they can do that! Its like 2 for 1. So because of the delays we missed 2 cabs that were ordered for us (bit of confusion there – Sorry MOT ’n NEEK), I ended up having a fight with one the cab companies explaining I’m not a f***ing pilot so the delay can not be my fault and he can shove his charges, almost hired a car but ended up paying out my ass for a London black cab from the airport. Was however GREAT to be home!
Drinks that day started early. VERY early. Dumped bags, quick ummm shower and off to the boozer, pub, local. Enjoyed a quick ummm beer and had a brilliant day. Friends meeting friends meeting friends. Did I mention that I had not had a sip of alcohol in my body for 2 months and proceeded to “try to” power drink with the rest of them? Right, well I can’t be sure but I think I did ok. No obvious injuries, cuts, bruises or cycling into dustbins was had my me. I cant speak for everyone though. Im not entirely sure how we got home or when or why. All I knew was that we were going to hurt at 5am when we had to leave for the airport to head to Lanzarote. I was right! Packing was a gem. I landed up going away with 2 t-shirts, 2 bloogers (boxers), 2 shorts and 2 slip slops. The bag however was full. Sharing a bag is great cos then only one of us me have something heavy to carry. The number 32 flashes to mind. 
Just as a side note, did you have any idea that you can buy a hairdryer in duty free that comes with its own luggage? Trust me, its incredible.
Again on a plane. On a plane again. This time thankfully the focus was taken off the yummy-no-frills-pay-for-everything-food-and-service and was directed to the kicking sensation of a grubby mutant offspring of a chav. So then smiling at the “child” and asking it nicely to refrain from his annoying little fun & games activity, and the peace and tranquility of this “luxury” travel was stolen and replaced by the bitching of the 18 year old parents of the little Beckham hairdo’d, ear pierced 4 year old in an England top in the seat behind me. Landing was great. The 3.5 hour flight only felt like 8 and we were there. Shebang. May the relax begin. And boy, did it! 7 days of doing SFA (nothing). 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom, lounge, pool. Loads of ummm sleep and drink was the aim of the day and I think we did damn well to achieve our goals! We slept and we drank. Then we drank and slept more. Woke up at 1am after 7 hours sleep and had another drink. Food was lovely. Weather was great. Spanish taxi drivers suck! Walk to the beach was short. Pubs were great. Chavs and England tops were out in abundance but they seemed to be having a great time too so good on them. We all need a holiday. The pool at the house, despite the leak, was incredible. Sun was lovely. Breeze was cool. Bus trip was fun… ok frikkin scary but fun! Nice little island break. Most importantly I had my lovely KT with me and that was incredible. Thank you babe for an awesome holiday!
Again on a plane. On a plane again. Our chav mates were on the same flight with us again but kept their offspring to themselves. Back in London and we were go go go. Thank God for the relaxing bit of the holiday. Catchups, mates, drinks, food, shopping, money, banks, phones, busses, trains, tubes, cabs, OXFORD CIRCUS (!!!) and walking. I think we pretty much achieved everything we set out to all except for those bastard UK banks that almost require urine and DNA samples, letters and proof from everywhere etc etc to open a bloody bank account just to give THEM money! I tell you it was not for a lack of trying. It was a great time in London and really good to see old mates again and a whole bunch of really kewl new ones too. Ok ok the old mates are also really kewl! Reminds me what I miss each time I go away. It gets no easier.
It eventually comes down to the beginning, “All exceptional things must come to an end”. And exceptional it was. I want to thank everyone who came out and made it such a good and special holiday. I loved it and will remember it as I return to the crazy-land of IRQ. This time however I will not be in Badgag, I am returning to Badrash down south. The land of heat AND humidity. Just wait for the bitching sessions! The good news is that the end is in sight! I can see it! I just hope I’m looking in the right direction
Till next time! Love you babes. Love you all.
~~~ Ciao
** For all those struggling to keep your eyes open reading now, believe me, this was the summarised version! Viva kewl holidays! Pictures to follow on a seperate post.
