Email, along with the internet, in my opinion, is probably single handily the most incredible invention, development, creation (call it what you like) of the 20th century. It crosses borders and circumnavigates the globe instantly thus eliminating awful distances and time constraints and closes gaps between friends and loved ones. It has also become a priceless business tool reducing costs and schedules and is now considered the core means of communication in any respectable outfit. Along with all the benefits of such brilliance, you also get the yobbos who butcher the systems for no apparent reason other than to see their own stupidity jetting around the world filling people with false hopes and guilt trips. I'm not in any way talking about the really good joke emails or the occasional powerpoint slide (no further comment); I am talking about the “send this to 100 mates or your left testicle will fall off – So says AOL and CNN – Microsoft is tracking it!!”. What really cracks me up however is the tenacity of some of these “authors” who insist on flooding the internet with utter junk every minute of the day. Gmail, I think, has one of the best spam blocking systems on web-based email but still there are wads of great deals only a mouse-click away. Just for a laugh I went through my junk mail just to see what spectacular offers were out there. If I responded and received everything that was for sale in my Junk Mail folder every time I received it in the last 24hours, amongst other things I would:
- Own 4 x 18K Rolex watches at a total price of under $600 (not bad)
- Achieve my Bachelors, Masters, MBA, & PhD in the field of my expertise without opening a book (hmmmm not bad either)
- Own “all the luxuries of the elite” (F*ck me… ALL OF THEM??)
- Own 10 000 shares of Falcon Energy, Inc (Who??)
- Have 3 of the best damn mortgage rates money cant buy!
- Have lost over 190Kgs in 3 weeks (Can you be weighed in negative values?)
- Have the sex drive and stamina of a college football team (Baby, I'm on my way home!)
- 3 lifetime supplies of Viagra (That will help the stamina I'm sure)
- A 39” penis (No comment Dirk Diggler)
Some things you don’t you think you need. For everything else, there's INTERNET MAIL!!!
