Drivers license update

17 10 2009

Ok it was a little while ago now but I never got around to writing anything about it again. As a recap, I had an issue with my drivers license in South Africa. I was overseas when the government converted the license system from a book to a photo card system. Excuse me but I never got that memo.

The end of it was my declaration that the government could go to hell and that would be the end of it. Wrong again. Don’t get me wrong, it can still go to hell but after doing a little investigation it seemed that I was screwed no matter which way I looked at it. So I went back to the Port Elizabeth traffic department and tried to plead my case. “Futile” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I would have had better luck talking to a warm steaming pile of dog turd. Needless to say what I was dreading what verbalized. “”Mr Hoox, you have to redo your entire license. Write your learners test and then do your K53 road test”. It’s no wonder why they have to put bullet proof glass windows at the desks!

In short, with a very special thanks to my friends back in Humansdorp license department, I achieved the impossible. I pleaded my case there on the Wednesday, I wrote my learner’s test on the Thursday, went for 2 hours driving lessons on the Friday and passed my drivers test on the Saturday. Street legal again!

Now  the rest of the f**ckers can eat that warm steaming pile of dog turd!





Proud to be South African?

19 09 2009

Well if not, here is something to brag about. We currently have the best rugby team in the world. Ever. 2009 is the year of the South African rugby player!

Here is a great table showing all our current winnings. The best thing is, it’s only ever been done ONCE. By South African rugby! Go Bokke! Go Super Rugby!

SA Rugby





World’s Largest Strawberry

11 09 2009

Well I’ll be damned! I went to Woolworths the other day to pick up some great healthy fruit and veg. Yeah yeah I’m trying ok! And look what I found! Can you believe the size of these strawberries. I swear they are just like small apples!

Strawberry

And the Yanks think they have it bigger and better! These guys ROCK! Home gown South African fruit. Best in the world!





Ban the bounce? I say ban the bra!

10 09 2009

I came across this funny website on a mate’s profile on Facebook. Shock Absorber – Ban the bounce. Ok I found it funny cos I’m a bloke! Bouncing boobs will always make a guy chuckle. You should check it out and tell me if you also find it as funny as I did.

Bounce

It’s quite simple really:

  • Pick your bra size. If you are a bloke pick the “FF+G” cos it’s the funniest.
  • Choose an activity level. If you are a bloke pick “Extreme” for the same funny reason.
  • Laugh!




Almost impressed – Useless government

8 09 2009

Today started just like any other day. Not a lot of plans with the exception of a bit of Playstation 3 and job hunting. I was successfully sticking to those plans when my phone rang. I didn’t get to the phone fast enough and it was a number I didn’t recognise so I just left it. 10 minutes later my mate Mullac called me. He had fantastic news. The call that I had missed was the Uitenhage traffic department to advise my ordeal with my driver’s license has been sorted 3 months faster than predicted. I had fortunately listed Mullac as a secondary contact in case I had already left the country.

licences_driving

Now I am awake and I am ready to get cracking. I was in the car in a flash and on my way to Uitenhage. All the way there I was thinking how wrong I was about this country and it’s abilities (lack of) to run a streamlined government and it’s associated services. Today I was impressed. Sadly though, my original impressions were more accurate. After standing in the queue for about 45 minutes I was issued the temporary license which is to be used while the new card license gets issued. That’s when I noticed it.

That temp license only has my new motorcycle license on it and was sorely lacking any indication of my light vehicle driver’s license. My heart started pumping when I enquired about this obvious mistake. That’s when she said, “Oh I think you misunderstood what the process is. When we sent your license details to Bisho to get sorted out, what they do is delete or cancel your license from your ID book, not give you a new one”. When I asked why, I was told because I never got it converted before so it just had to be removed from my ID book. Even after explaining AGAIN that I was overseas in 2003 when this stupid government came up with this ridiculous new 5 year money making renewal scheme system she simply said that there was nothing she could do there.

south_africa_rand

I asked with much dread in my gut what the next step was. She said, “Oh you will just have to rewrite your learners test and redo your entire K53 driving test.”

Please try to imagine how must constraint I had to exercise to remain calm and not hop on my imaginary soap box and scream at the top of my lungs exactly what I think of those people and their entire system of useless, fat, greedy bastard idiots in this useless Banana Republic that’s fast being “driven” down the toilet!

Thank God I still have my British diver’s license so I don’t need to put up with this crap. It can flush all on it’s own!





PS3 Frustrations

7 09 2009

So I finally succumbed to the temptations of the gaming world. Until recently I had figured that I needn’t bother with the hype of PS3, XBox, Wii and Nintendo. That all changed when it was decided that I would cross over and pick up a new toy. After much homework and deliberation I decided on the PS3. It was partly thinking that this is something I could carry with me on overseas adventures for entertainment as it also includes the BluRay player. God help me! They are bloody expensive! Cost me R5200 for a kit with a couple of controllers and a couple games etc. But was I happy? Sure I was! Until I got the news!

PS3   Slim

Sony have just announced the release of the PS3 Slim! Can you believe it? I was a little bleak cos instantly my brand new toy is last years model! It only got worse when I then looked up the other stats and details.

“At Gamescom, Sony Entertainment confirmed that the PS3 Slim is on its way, that it will be 32% smaller, 36% less heavy and use 34% less electricity. The harddisk will be 120GB and the console does look like the leaked picture that was shown not so long ago. The redesigned console will be available as of the first week of September and will cost €299.
Also the current model will be having a price drop and will become available for the same price as the Slim version. Not so much a surprise as, just like with the PSP Go, the news was leaked not so long ago already.”

Smaller, better, cheaper! SUX when it’s a few weeks after you dropped all your cash!





Titillating Tuesday – Spring Day

1 09 2009

Happy September 01

It’s spring. It’s Tuesday. It’s titillating! It’s all the fun and games we have been waiting for since autumn. Doesn’t everything just seem better today? Maybe not for you northern hemisphere people but you have been having all the fun for the lest 6 months. Ok, perhaps not the UK but everyone else! :-)

Have a great day and enjoy the great weather set to come.

 (U2 – Beautiful Day)

Spring by allegra jellyfish
(Click for more – As always, NSFW)

Read the rest of this entry »





Soldiers striking?

27 08 2009

In what world is the backbone of any country’s defence allowed to strike? Oh, in this world it seems. In the crazy world of South Africa. Here we have our military in illegal protest that turned into a riot. Fantastic. What is happening to this country? It seems everyone can have a strike. Doctors, Metro Police, World Cup construction workers etc etc and now the military. The useless bastards of today’s military have demands of a 30% pay increase and suddenly it turns into a petrol bomb and rubber bullet party after destroying government property. What do they even do for their salaries?

“Defying a court order, engaging in unnecessary violent behaviour, causing damage to private and public property and attempting to invade the seat of government is totally unacceptable,” said government spokesperson Themba Maseko”

Military

“Several soldiers and a policeman were injured, reported SAPA. Some police and military vehicles were also damaged by a petrol bomb.”

“"While acknowledging that that soldiers’ march was illegal, Cosatu nevertheless believes that the reaction by the police – with stun grenades and rubber bullets – was reckless and excessive," said spokesman Patrick Craven, reported SAPA”

In many countries, action like attempting to invade the seat of government is usually considered an uprising or coup and likely to to be declared mutiny or treason and punishable by death. Our police just get reprimanded for excessive force

Just to add salt to the wound, you get some prick Shaheed Mahomed of the Workers International Vanguard League saying ridiculous statements like “Soldiers should have the full right to protest as well as the right to strike”. But then again, this brain box also feels that “We fully support the right of soldiers to elect their leaders in the army and that their leaders should be subject to instant recall.” Soldiers electing the generals? This isn’t the fucking boy scouts! Oh hang on, perhaps it is!

One step closer to the Banana Republic! Whatever!





Motorcycle test – PASSED

26 08 2009

I was shitting myself last night. Not for the test today but more for the weather. It wasn’t looking good at all. Any rain and they cancel the test and postpone. I really didn’t want to have the test postponed. It became frontal last night which to the lay man simply means the wind blows like a son of a bitch from the west and that drags in all the crap wet weather from Cape Town. Fortunately this morning it was holding out sufficiently.

I rushed off to the testing station for an 11:30am booking while staring at the sky and hoping like mad. The test itself was very uneventful. The rain held out and I completed my test. It went really well. I guess that comes with good preparation. I passed with flying colours

pass_fail

And then the shit storm began. The government kicked in and that’s when the happiness ended. There’s a problem with my driver’s license apparently. Supposedly in 2003 while I was out of the country I was supposed to convert my old ID book style driver’s license to an ID card license. Since I did not do the conversion there is now a block on the license. Now that I have passed my bike license they need to issue a card license with both licenses on it. Simple? NO! This is Africa. First they have to remove the license from my ID book before they can issue the card. Simple? NO! They are useless! Apparently it can take up to 4 months to sort this out in a distant town called Bisho which looks after the entire region. Only once this is done can I go in to sort out and pay for my new license. But I am going to be away by then so I have to make another plan for issue and collection. Just a real pain in the ass. I can only hope it will be sorted without too many problems.

Africa!





Vroooooom

23 08 2009

Yesterday was my first time back on a bike properly (and legally) in about 15 years I guess and it was great fun! But now I have to do things the right way. Riding bikes in this country is actually a crazy thing. Bikes kill you quicker than cars but yet all you need is a little piece of paper being your learners license at the age of 16 and that allows you onto a bike capable of going 150kph on the highway (up to 125cc). So that’s how I learned way back when but then the limit was 50cc and we were not allowed on the highway.

Now I want to get my full (unrestricted) bike license so I have to go through the entire process again. About a month ago I got my learners license. And this week I have my bike test which is pretty simple I must admit. I hope I didn’t just jinx it!

IMG_0692

I got on the bike and I was feeling a little apprehensive since it had been quite a while. I wanted to go for a quick ride around first just to get used to it again and it was great fun. Pulled off like a champ and was flying around the parking lot in no time. When I got back the instructor said that I was lying and that I had definitely ridden recently. That made me feel good. I guess it is like riding a bicycle!

A few more lessons and then my test. I am a bit nervous but it’s also like an adventure which makes it worthwhile. I don’t know if I even want a bike but I want the license just in case. Leave my options open. It’s very difficult to get it anywhere else and the South African license is internationally recognised so I can get it switched for a UK license.